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Could they really be a family? A trio? Her longing surprised her, and worried her. Did she want a family and a dad for Gabby so much that she was willing to be lured into Keegan's circle, just so she could have the life she'd never had? Maybe she wasn't as independent as she'd thought, which meant that maybe she'd fallen for him for the wrong reasons.
She let out her breath. "How do I know if I can trust how I feel about you, Keegan?"
There was no answer in the crisp night air, and once his taillights were out of sight, there was no point in standing outside.
She walked back inside and shut and locked the store door, then leaned against it. Was she going to invite him to stay over when he got back? If she could trust him with her daughter, then couldn't she trust him with herself? Theoretically, yes. Right?
So, what was holding her back?
Wimpiness? Self-punishment? Martyrdom? Or some sixth sense that she couldn't put her finger on? Or maybe her lack of trust in herself.
The store felt empty and quiet, and she missed Gabby. She missed Keegan.
No. She didn't want to feel sad or despondent. Empowered, enlightened decisions were never made from a position of feeling lonely.
So, she shut out the melancholy, and looked around the store. The embers in the fireplace were fading, but the Christmas lights were still sparkling on the walls and the tree. She smiled, remembering the feel of the party. The camaraderie. The love.
She'd created that. She and Jocie. With love, commitment, and consistency over the years. It had been a labor of love from the start, and she'd cherished every minute of it.
She let herself feel pride in what she'd created. In the world she'd built. In the daughter she'd raised. She let herself be proud of herself, and see what she'd done and who she was.
As she stood there, she noticed the beautiful bookcases that she'd acquired. The assortment of antique chairs and loveseats that warmed the store, furniture she'd picked up at garage sales and antique shops, so that she could create a store that people wanted to hang out in. She smiled at the tall plant in the corner that had been a tiny sprig when she'd started. Now it reached almost to the celling. The signed books behind glass, one for every author who had come to the store for an event. There were hundreds now, because her store had become a regular stop on many book tours.
She'd done amazing things here. Without her Harvard degree. Without a man to lean on. Without her mom to support her.
Suddenly, she realized that in all her work, she'd forgotten to ever feel good about who she was and what she'd done.
Jocie was right.
She wasn't the scared, disempowered, alone nineteen-year-old, so desperate that she'd take any handout.
She was a powerful, badass chick. She grinned, suddenly feeling lighter than she had in a long time. Of course she could trust herself. Of course she could.
And she wanted Keegan. With all her heart. For herself. For Gabby. She had no idea how to work out the geographical issues, but she was willing to be open about it, because she knew now, that she'd never give up who she was for a man.
Not again.
Not ever.
And Keegan, with his prosthetic nose, wasn't the type to ask her to.
She let out a breath, elation filling her heart. She knew what she wanted, and she was going to try! And she wanted to start right now! Who knew? Maybe she'd open a second bookstore in Bend, and build a second community to support the one she and Jocie had running so smoothly now.
Her heart dancing, she broke into a run and raced for the stairs, to grab the car keys to the rental that Keegan had secured for her until her car was fixed.
She bounced up the stairs two at a time, raced down the hall, and flung her bedroom door open.
Sitting on her bed, pointing a gun at her, was the man she'd been hiding from for sixteen years.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
"I have to ask you something," Gabby said as she sat down at the picnic table across from Keegan with her ice cream.
"You bet." Keegan couldn’t believe how at peace he was. He'd always figured himself to be a pretty happy dude, but the last forty-eight hours with Gabby and Sofia had been mind-blowing.
He'd found his place. He knew he had. He loved every second of being with them. He wished that Sofia had come with them, but he understood why she'd wanted them to have one-on-one time. Gabby needed to feel secure with him, regardless of Sofia, and he was doing his best to make her feel that way.
As he sat there across from Gabby, he was stunned with how lucky he was. This smart, sassy, amazing kid was his daughter. "But first, can I say something?"
