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"Yeah. You occupy this huge space energetically. Money. Fame. Attractive as hell. Charming."
A slow smile curved his mouth. "Attractive?"
"You know you are, but that's not my point." She patted the bed, inviting him to come sit.
Keegan locked the door behind him, then walked across the floor, his bare feet silent on the thick carpet. He sat down on the bed and faced her. Not tackling her for lovemaking. Just there to connect, respecting that she might not want to do anything with Gabby a few doors down, because a home didn't offer the same privacy as a hotel room. "What's your point, then?"
She held out her hand, and he took it, entwining his fingers with hers. "My point is that to the world, you're this icon. Unapproachable. And you became that way to me when I started seeing you in magazines. You stopped being that boy I ran around with, and became this untouchable marble statue."
He rubbed his thumb over the underside of her wrist, a casual touch that connected them. "A marble statue? That doesn't sound great."
She smiled. "But the moment you walked into that tavern, you were simply Keegan again. The boy who saved me from a truck. A teenager who had lost his mom and lived under a bridge, who had nothing but his heart and his courage to offer."
He smiled. "I like how you phrased that. You make it sound like I had value back then."
"To me, you did. And you still do." She put her hand on his hip, needing to touch him. "I've been holding this secret about us, about who Gabby's biological dad is, for so long. It's been this constant weight in my heart, a fear of what would happen if she ever found out. A worry that one day, I wouldn't be able to keep the secret. Fear, a deep, terrifying fear, that my little baby would break if she found out the truth."
He said nothing.
"Keegan?"
He finally looked up at her. "Would you ever have told me?"
She hated to admit it, but she had to. "No."
"So, I would have died, never knowing I had a kid who was growing up without a dad? With a black hole in her life, a hole that I would have given all my money to be given the chance to fill? You would have let that happen?"
Oh, God. This was it. The conversation she'd been dreading. "Yes," she said honestly. "I didn't know that you would welcome her. I didn't know if you were a good man."
"How do you know if you don't give it a chance?"
She shrugged. "You're right. I was too afraid to try, but that's not an excuse. What happened with my ex was a long time ago, and there was no excuse to stay hiding in his shadow for so long." She let go of his hip. "I see that now, but without Gabby, I never would have dared to try."
"Do you regret your decision? To not tell me?"
She flopped back on the bed and crossed her forearms over her forehead. "Regret is deadly," she said softly. "It eats away at your soul until you have nothing left, and yet there is no way to ever change what happened in the past. So regret is simply a way to destroy yourself. I had a kid who needed me to shine for her."
"So, no regret?"
She looked over at him. "I can't afford regrets, Keegan. What I can do is learn from each moment and do my best with each day that I have." Would he understand that? It had taken her so long to learn how to live with herself, to learn to love herself, to learn to live with the choices she felt she had to make.
Keegan was quiet for a long moment, but he was continuing to play with her fingers.
She waited for his next question. Or his statement that she was a cold, heartless bitch. Or whatever was coming.
But instead, he stretched out beside her on the bed, clasped his hands over his head, and crossed his ankles. His body was pressed up beside hers, not in a sexy way, but in a companionship, a bond, a forgiveness.
Tears suddenly filled her eyes. "Keegan? Talk to me."
He rolled onto his side, and she did the same, so they were facing each other, their heads on the pillow. He traced his finger down the side of her face. "You're even more beautiful than you were back then." He wiped away a tear from her cheek. "Why the tears, sweetheart?"
"Because I just told you I don't regret not telling you about Gabby. It's a rough thing for someone to hear. It doesn't feel good to say that to you, but I have to be honest, because I wasn't honest before."
He smiled, his face warm, his mouth so close to hers. "Sweetheart, life is incredibly complicated. The choices we make are complex, and in the moment, each moment, we do the best we can. I know that."
"What have you ever done that you regret?"
He didn't hesitate. "I let the love of my life walk out of the door, and I didn't try to get her back."
