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There was that edge to his voice again, and suddenly, she understood. "I remember when we were teenagers, you told me how you loved baking, because it felt like home, like your mom. It wasn't about the baking, so much as how it made you feel."
He glanced over at her. "You remember that?"
"Of course." She bit her lip, not sure whether to keep going or not. "Does the bakery make you feel like that?"
"Of course—" He cut himself off and was silent for a long moment. Finally, he looked over at her. "No. It doesn't. It feels like a business."
"Do you feel like your dream failed you?"
His gaze sharpened. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you opened the bakery because baking was your greatest joy. Because it was the home and love and security you lost. And now that you have the bakery, it doesn't feel like that. So, you worked so hard for so long to make it come true, and it didn't give you back what you wanted from it."
Keegan stared at her for so long that she began to shift uncomfortably in the saddle. "Sorry. I know you didn't want to talk about it before, but I wanted to help—"
"Son of a bitch," he muttered. "You're right. In fact, it actually steals me from my family and the horses. It keeps me from delivering the goods to the local businesses, like Alice. It takes me away from the things that give me the joy."
Her heart fluttered. She'd helped him? That felt so good. "So, this thing you spend all your time on, doesn't actually make you happy the way you thought it would?"
"Fuck." He shook his head. "I've been trying to pin down what's wrong for months, and you nailed it. That's exactly it."
She grinned. "What are you going to do about it?"
He shrugged, but this time, it was thoughtful, not dismissive. "I don't know. I need to think about it." He grinned. "Thank you, though. It took you to put your finger on it, and I appreciate it."
A warm feeling filled her. "You're welcome. Thanks for letting me help."
He nodded. "Sorry for shutting you out. I didn't want to drag you down."
"That's what relationships are," she said. "The ups and downs."
He cocked an eyebrow. "Are we in a relationship, then?"
Her cheeks heated up. "Of sorts."
"Of sorts," he repeated softly. "I'll take that."
She grinned, appreciating the fact that he hadn't pushed further than that. He'd let her take the space she needed, which meant she didn't have to push him away. Relief rushed through her, and suddenly, she felt like his horse: able to relax into his attention without fear that something was going to scare her. She beamed at him, suddenly feeling light and free. "Want to race? And by race, I mean, a slow, relaxed lope?"
He laughed. "You bet. Let's do it." He urged his horse forward, and she did the same. She laughed with joy as they rode down the lightened trail, chatting and having fun, having easy conversation that wasn't about secret babies, ex-husbands, or mind-blowing sex. It was just friendship, and it felt amazing.
It made her realize that she wasn't simply attracted to him.
She liked him as a person. As a friend. And as a lover…
But as a forever? She dismissed the thought. It was more than she was ready for. More than she could handle.
She would just take this moment for what it was: the most magical, most romantic Christmas moment of her life.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
By the time the threesome got back to Keegan's house Sunday afternoon after dropping Bella off at her home, Sofia was both tired and happy.
Bella and Keegan were truly good people, and their love for Gabby was heartwarming.
Bella was hilarious, and Sofia felt like they could be real friends.
And Keegan had kept things light and fun with her, keeping the pressure off.
