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As he asked, they met gazes, and silence suddenly hung between them. God, she'd loved him with all her heart once. And then, she'd shut herself down. And now…temptation ran amok with this man who seemed to be put on this earth as the exact match to all the longings and needs in her heart.
"I'll go first."
She swallowed. "Another confession?"
"Always." He pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "That day you left after cutting out my heart with that speech—"
Oh, God. That speech. "I'm sorry—"
He kissed her to shut her up, before continuing. "When you left, I was shattered. Literally shattered. You'd given me hope again, and then, you were gone. My reaction was too extreme given that we'd had only a week together, but I was already broken by mom's death, and I put everything onto your shoulders to save me."
She bit her lip, listening.
"Now that I'm here with you, and I feel the difference in what is between us, I know that it was the only path. I had to find my strength on my own. And I did."
Her heart turned over at the truth in his voice. "We both needed to find our own ways," she agreed. "We were too young for anything permanent."
"Young, lost, and confused," he agreed. "But here's the thing. I'm none of those now. I know what I want. I know what's out there in this world. And I know that you're what I want. So, you might be keeping your heart to yourself, and that's completely fine, but mine is yours for the taking."
His words were so simple, so matter of fact, that she knew he was telling the truth. A part of her wanted to lean into him, to throw herself into this thing that felt so magical between them, but she couldn't. "That doesn't make sense. We literally have known each other for barely more than a week."
"Every forever-love starts with a first week."
God, he said the most perfect things. She wanted to throw herself into his arms…and run away at the same time. She felt her throat start to close up. "You sound like my ex. He said stuff like that. I believed him, but he was actually a monster."
"I'm not him—"
"I know that. But my instincts can't remember that." She pushed herself off the bed and grabbed her shirt. "Look, Keegan, maybe I'm just too broken for anything real."
"Sofia—"
She shook her head as she pulled her underwear on. "Please call me Sascha. It's the one thing that's only you. The way you say it wraps around me like a hug. I need you to be you. Only you." She held up her hand as he started to get up. "But not right now. I just need space."
Keegan leaned back in the bed, clasping his hands behind his head, watching her. His face was troubled. "Sascha," he said gently. "How can I help you?"
"Just give me space." She grabbed her shoes and socks and tucked them under her arm. "I'll see you later—"
"Will you? Or are you going to leave during the night?"
God, he looked beautiful lounging among the tousled sheets like that. "Last time we made love, it was in my hotel room. This time, another hotel room. What about a home? What about that?"
His brow furrowed. "You want to make love in a home?"
"No. Yes. I don't know. I need to go." She grabbed the door handle and pulled it open, but just as she walked out, she looked back over her shoulder. Keegan was sitting up in bed, the sheets draped over his waist, his forearms resting on his knees, watching her.
The look on his face made her heart stutter.
She felt like they'd just gone back in time, and she'd spat terrible things at him to try to wreck things badly enough to set her free, leaving him looking like "what the hell just happened?"
Was that what she was doing again? Trying to sabotage something wonderful just because she couldn’t handle it?
Guilt shot through her, and she ran over to the bed. She went down on her knees on the floor, and grabbed his arm. "Keegan," she whispered.
He looked over at her, and she could see the wall beginning to build between them. "What?"
"I—" God. She didn't even know what to say. "If I could pick any man in this entire world, past or present, to be Gabby's dad, it would be you." It was the biggest compliment she could think of, the grandest statement that she could give him to make him understand how worthy she found him.
He looked down at her hand on his arm. "And yet," he said softly, "you're going to go in there, get Gabby to pack her bags, and get a ride back to your car and be gone in the morning. Again. I can hear it in your voice."
