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Chase chuckles as he pushes up from the floor. “Uh, yeah. It is.”
I look up at him, still not making sense of it. “Why do you have a framed picture of a dick on your wall?” And not just any dick. This one is huge and hard and very veiny.
He steps over to the side of the chair I’m on and runs his hands over my head, checking for a bump or cut, I guess. Finding the former, but not the latter, he crouches down in front of me, his hands on my thighs. “My sister gave it to me.”
“Your sister gave you a picture of a dick?” Definitely a concussion.
He lifts one hand and runs it through his hair. “Yeah,” he chuckles. “She did.”
Before I can think of another question that would somehow make sense of the fact that his sister sends him dick pictures and he has them framed and hung on his wall, a beige bag of rocks jumps on the large picture on my lap.
“Meow.”
Oh, excuse me, I misspoke. It’s a cat. A scrawny, hairless cat.
The tag on his collar swings back and forth before settling against his smooth chest.
“Mike Hunt,” I read out loud. Then my eyes widen at what I just said. “You named your cat Mike… Hunt.” Sheesh, even with the pause it still sounds perverse.
Chase is eyeing me strangely, like a kid who poked at a hornets’ nest and is waiting for the sting.
I glance down at the unfortunate dick picture that the hairless pussy is perched on.
“Mike Hunt is on your dick,” I deadpan.
And then I bust out laughing.
14
CHASE
Laughter.
I can deal with Campbell’s laughter.
Especially seeing as I unceremoniously threw her across the room, causing a large picture frame to crack down on her skull and all. Not to mention my unconventional wall art and odd-looking pet. All in all, laughter does seem the best I can hope for.
After a moment, Campbell’s breath evens out. “Okay. First things first.” She wipes the tears under her eyes, then slides her hands down the edges of the frame on her lap. “Why did your sister give you a picture of a dick, and why did you feel the need to hang it on your wall? Artfully framed, no less.”
“Ever heard of Pick a Dick?” I lift Mike off her and grab the frame.
“Excuse me?”
I chuckle. “It’s an app that lets women post all the unsolicited dick pictures they get. Then other subscribers can score the dicks from one to ten.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard about that. My lawyer Leslie mentioned it. Said giving zero scores to the pictures guys sent her on some dating app was better justice than a lawsuit.” She glances at the picture, eyebrows arching. “And that’s your picture?”
“Uh, no.” I flip the frame over and lean it against the wall. “That was the first picture ever posted on the site. It’s a dick picture that some asshole sent my sister. It’s actually what inspired me to create the application.”
“Wait.” She sits forward in her seat. “You created that app?” Her auburn hair ripples as she shakes her head from side to side. “How did I not know this?”
“I may have created it, but I didn’t own it for long.”
She gives me a look. “Why not? All the research I did before taking on the Moore’s account showed you to be a savvy businessman. Doesn’t make sense to let go of an app like that too soon. It’s still really popular.”
I shrug, not really wanting to get into the why. Getting beaned in the head by a dick and then sat on by a hairless pussy is enough for one night. “Anyway, yeah, I’m the creator. Thought it would be a good way for women to even the score. Especially after that stupid Hot or Not app.”
“Wow.”
