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“I called youevery dayfor seven years.”
“How’s that Nobel Prize coming along, anyway?”
He sighs. “You don’t have to trick me,” he repeats, and this time she grins at him, impish and mischievous, and I remember that she has always been my favorite of Greg’s relatives.
“But it’s more fun this way.”
I suspect this is an interaction they’ve had multiple times. I suspect Jack is trying to not smile. “I’m taking Elsie home. Then I’ll come back and—”
“Elsie?” Millicent turns, as though noticing me for the first time. “Elsie.” She takes a step toward me, and I stop breathing, trying to make myself inconspicuous. Who needs oxygen? I’ll just photosynthesize from now on. “Why isElsieso familiar?”
I gulp. Comically.
“Ah. Yes. You beat Jack at Go.”
“We... tied, actually.” I glance at Jack, who’s smiling like my discomfort puts him in a good mood.
“Indeed.” Millicent’s eyes laser-focus on me, and I wonder what I should say if she asks why I’m here. What’s the cover story? “You don’t look too good.”
“Oh. I...”
“She had a rough night,” Jack says mildly. “Let her be.”
Millicent nods knowingly. “Dear, whenever they can’t get it up, they sit on the edge of the mattress with their heads between their hands and whine like babies and turn it intoourproblem, but—”
I gasp. “Oh, no. No, no, that’s not what we—”
“She just found out she didn’t get a job,” Jack explains, unruffled. “But thank you for the vote of confidence.”
“If you say so.” Millicent seems unconvinced. Then her eyes light up with a glimmer of recollection “Wait. She’s notyours, is she? She’s the girlfriend of the one who always looks like he just stress-ate a crab apple over a trash can.”
Jack rolls his eyes. “You mean Greg? My brother? Your grandson?”
“How would I know? I have four children and seven grandchildren. How many names do you expect me to memorize?”
“Eleven would be a good start.”
“Bah.” Her eyes fix on me, sharp. “Sheishis, though.”
“Not really,” Jack says. “It’s a long story.”
“Perfect. You can tell me over coffee. Two sugars as always, Jack?”
“Yup.” He turns to leave again. “I’ll have it when I come back from taking Elsie—”
“Nonsense. Elsie must stay, too. I simplycannotlet her leave.”
“Yes, you can, because kidnapping is a serious felony offense.”
“Pssh.”
“I’m driving her home and—”
“It’s fine,” I interrupt. They both look at me, stunned by my capacity for speech. “I don’t mind staying.”
“See? She doesn’t mind!” Millicent claps her hands and drops any pretense of helplessness, pulling three mugs from a cupboard that’s much higher than the one with the sugar. Jack hesitates, though. He takes a step closer and scans my face for traces of my little untruths.
“Really,” I say only for Jack’s ears, “it’s fine.”
