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What are you to her?
And maybe that was the problem. That even he knew that this... As much as he wanted it to be, might not be enough.
He would figure it out. He would find a way to make this enough for her.
“Will we sleep in the same bed tonight?”
He considered that. “Probably not.”
And she looked sad.
But he was keeping her safe. He was keeping himself on a leash, he would have to. It was the only way they could be together.
He was what he was.
He could have her. But he could only give her so much.
CHAPTER TEN
THEPREPARATIONFORa royal wedding was intense. And they were trying to make a gesture, a statement, to the entire nation, and indeed the entire world. Which made the preparations even more intense than they would have been if circumstances were normal. Not that Brianna could quite figure out what would constitute as normal for a royal wedding. All she saw was extravagance. Extravagance on a grand scale.
The dresses that were brought in for her were glorious. Made of fabrics that were so rich and luxurious she didn’t think she had ever touched anything like them. Much less had them resting against her skin.
The menu that they were working on was enough to make any foodie stand up and cheer. And she couldn’t deny that she was looking forward to it.
The decorations and flowers promised to be a spectacle, and looking at beautiful arrangements had been a lovely way to pass one of the days.
If only things with Riyaz were quite as straightforward as the wedding planning. They didn’t share a room or a bed. He was still a part-time dungeon dweller, and given what had happened the time he had tried to sleep in a bed, she wasn’t entirely sure how to convince him that it would be okay.
She wasn’t even sure if it would be okay. That made it all difficult.
To make matters worse, Ariel, who had become a friend, was clearly going through some things with Cairo, and that made her a bit distant in ways that Brianna could definitely understand. “He’s withdrawn,” she said. “He won’t sleep with me.”
“Neither will Riyaz,” Brianna said.
“It’s this place,” said Ariel. “He was different. At the house we married at. I think being here is destructive. There are too many ghosts.”
But Brianna understood that there was nothing to be done about that. How could there be? They were the rulers of these ghosts. Of the people in this country. Of all that was good, and all that was dangerous, all that was sad and all that was brilliant. This place, the site of their trauma, was a place that they had to stay.
And as much she appreciated that it was difficult for Cairo, she also found herself having a difficult time being sympathetic to him. Considering that Riyaz had been here the entire time. In a dungeon. This might be Cairo’s first time facing these sorts of demons, but Riyaz had been trapped in them.
And now sometimes she felt trapped in them as well. In that sense, she could well relate to Ariel.
But Riyaz was not distant. In fact, he was as attentive as could be expected. During the day, he was being given a million administrative tasks to do, things that were very unlike his life for the past sixteen years, and he was taking them all on admirably.
She imagined that he was extremely grateful that he had made it his goal to keep his mind sharp while he was imprisoned. Because there was definitely a heavy demand on his intellect now.
Thankfully, there was not yet a heavy demand on his diplomacy.
There would be eventually. Eventually, there would be meetings with dignitaries from around the world. Ambassadors and other leaders.
And he would have her.
She tried to imagine that. She had never really wanted a life like this. She had wanted something smaller.
But...
Now it was difficult to imagine a life that didn’t revolve around him. So maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe different was okay.
