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Her gaze came to rest on my questioning eyes. “It won’t be forever.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. It would be amazing for my career, and maybe I need something different after everything that happened with Sean.”
It was a good decision for her, even if it made me want to weep. I could never be so selfish as to keep her here. “If I ever made you feel like I was ashamed of you, then you couldn’t be more wrong. You came to me in the middle of a breakup, vulnerable and sad. I should have met you in that space and helped you. You need time to process everything that’s happened without me. It will be good for you to go.”
Her head bowed, but she held perfectly still. “Don’t you want me to stay?”
More than anything.
“I’m not the best thing for you right now. You have to make the right decision for you. I want the best for you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
She glanced around and lowered her voice. “You’re never going to feel okay about me and you, are you? You’re always going to be beating yourself up about how we met. This is never going to be right for you.”
“Not right now, no. Maybe with time…”
She moved closer to me. Her eyes searched my face. “How much time?”
A pang pulled at my heart. “I don’t know.”
“Once, you told me that love is sticking it out together. I believe that.” Her palms cupped my cheeks and the muddy scent of the pitch hit my nose. “I want to stick this out with you, but you’re right. I need to go. I need to get away from all of this and get my head straight. This year has been so intense. I can’t ask you to wait for me. It wouldn’t be fair—”
“You don’t have to ask. I’ve waited my whole life for you, Skylar. I’ll always be waiting.”
She wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “Thank you. For everything. You helped me. You might not feel like a good doctor, but you helped me so much.”
She flashed a tentative smile and I was a breathless boy of fourteen again. A glimmer of hope illuminated her beautiful eyes. “When I come back, might your door still be open for the captain?”
I wiped a stray tear from her cheek and pulled her into my arms. “Always.”
Chapter 40
Reece
Two years later
I sat at my table in the bookshop behind my pile of books. No customers had arrived yet. The bell above the shop door tinkled and a rush of nerves made me itch to do something with my hands. Reaching into my jacket, I withdrew the packet of asparagus seeds I’d received in the post this morning. The slim pouch had been accompanied by a handwritten note.
These need a raised bed. Perennials. That means they will always come back.
I hadn’t received an envelope like this in six months.
It was a week after Skylar left that the first small green packet had arrived in the post. The first had been strawberry seeds with a short handwritten note.
Plant early. Choose a sunny spot. Give them plenty of space.
The next packet had arrived a week later—sweet corn this time—with a similar short note on how to grow them. Every week for a year, a pack of seeds arrived in the post without a return address. The paper always carried the scent of Skylar’s watermelon perfume. Then the letters became more erratic. It could be months at a time before another one arrived until, after eighteen months, they stopped. Until today.
I shoved the seeds back in my pocket before stretching my fingers. A few people loitered in the bookshop, but nobody approached my table. Frankie lounged on a beanbag in the corner with her nose buried in a book and Elliot hovered over at the counter, chatting up the pretty owner. Miri had promised to pop in when she was done with practice.
I cracked my knuckles and flicked through one of my books, sticking my nose between the pages to inhale the freshly printed scent. I pulled out my phone and swiped mindlessly. I’d been trying to stalk Skylar’s Instagram less, but still I couldn’t help myself. What time was it in LA? The early hours of the morning? Miri gave me the odd update, but I didn’t ask. It was too painful. We’d agreed not to contact each other. Skylar needed a complete break. I’d only ever wanted to give her everything she needed.
Still, I scrolled through the pictures of her in LA, tanned and smiling. I swiped faster past the pictures with men in them. I tried not to dwell on those ones. It was good for her if she was dating. I just hoped she’d meet people who would treat her right. At least one of us could move on.
A cough. “Could I get this signed by the author, please?”
My heart jumped at the soft voice. The shock of her presence hit me like a punch to the gut.
