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“But you knew about it and you didn’t tell me?”
“It’s just the girls being idiots. Not a big deal.”
My teeth itched. “Is that what everyone thinks of me? I’m some kind of joke?”
She scrambled around the room picking up clothes. “Don’t turn this around. You’re so embarrassed of me you shoved me in here with a one-way ticket to bloody Narnia.”
“I don’t need my sister and my boss finding out what I’ve been doing. They wanted me to work to counsel the team, not have sex with the captain.”
She threw her hands up. “They are the last people that can judge us. They were banging in that office for weeks when they were telling everyone they were just work colleagues. Everybody knew about it.”
“Right. Everybody knew. Do you want everyone on the team talking about us? I can’t stand to be gossiped about, Skylar. I got bullied every day at school. I couldn’t go a day without Sean or one of his meathead friends beating me up or pulling some stunt on me. I lost my dad and then I got taunted every time I stepped through the school gates. Nothing has changed, has it? Sean is still laughing at me. All your friends are still laughing at me, and you…”
She hitched a hand on her hip, but her face softened. “I’m what?”
You’re breaking me. Just your presence. Knowing I can’t have the only person I want without losing everything else that matters to me.
She frowned. “Look. I’m sorry. I hate that you went through that, but this isn’t school and I don’t want to be your dirty little secret. We’re going to have to tell people. We can’t sneak around forever.”
I didn’t want to tell people. Not yet. How could I? If Miri thought it was bad I had Megan in here, God knows what she’d think when she found it was Skylar.
Skylar watched me and shook her head. “It’s me, isn’t it? You’re ashamed to tell people. I’m not a fancy doctor like Megan. I didn’t go to university. I’ve never even read Keats, let alone bloody Yeats. Why the fuck is there a Keats and a Yeats? It’s ridiculous.”
“Where has this come from? I don’t care about any of that.”
“I’ve been in this house all night and you won’t even let me go near your mother. I bet you introduced Megan—”
“My mum isn’t well. I don’t want to give her any additional stress.”
“Right,” she snapped. “And the sight of me might finish her off?” She blew out a breath and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m just pissed off.” She grabbed her leggings from the floor and yanked them up. “I get it, Reece. I’m the girl that’s good enough for a roll in the sack, but when push comes to shove, you’d rather hide me in the wardrobe than own up to this thing between us. I’m embarrassing for you.”
“No. You’re not. Not one bit.” A barbed knot formed in my stomach. “It’s not that. It’s me. I’m ashamed of myself. I’ve broken my own ethical code. I don’t know how I’m going to tell people about us. You trusted me to help you and I violated your trust. What are people going to think? I’m a terrible psychologist. I’m going to lose my reputation. What am I supposed to do? Everybody in that place is already laughing about me anyway. This has always been… untenable.”
She frowned and narrowed her eyes. “Untenable? Care to explain what that word means for the people that didn’t go to Cambridge?”
Exhaustion washed over me and my voice sounded hoarse. “Unable to be maintained. This was always wrong.”
“How can it be wrong when it feels this good between us?” She shook her head, and her eyes glimmered with tears. “I’m tired of this, Reece. I’m tired of all your excuses not to be with me. You told me that you love me.”
“I do love you. I’m not giving you excuses. They are solid reasons. I want to be with you. I just don’t know how to do this.”
I reached for her, but she snapped her hand away. She grabbed her team jacket and shoved her arms into the sleeves. “I have a match in less than a week that is going to define my entire career. I’ve been working toward this my whole life. I have one shot to get this team into the Women’s Super League. One fucking shot. This is messing with my head. The team has to come first. You’re right. This is untena-whatever if it’s making me feel like this. I can’t do this anymore.”
A deep, unaccustomed pain barbed my chest.
She kept her gaze fixed on the door. “Maybe we should stay away from each other. I need to focus. It’s not fair on my team.”
“Is that what you want?”
She pressed her trembling palms to her eyes. “Yes. It has to be. I have to think of them. You need to stay away from me, Reece. I have to get through this match. Don’t message me. Don’t call me. Forget all about me.”
My chest ached, but I tried to keep my face level. “I’ve never been able to forget about you. I wish I could. That’s the problem.”
She frowned. “You wish you could forget about me?”
My chest ached. That had come out wrong. “No.”
Skylar was upset and angry. One of us could stay calm at least. I had to put her needs first. She’d come to me in a vulnerable position. Whatever she needed, I’d do it.
