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"Look, I know you don't like me, but I haven't done anything. I have no clue what you are so pissed about. I have a lot on my plate right now, and this—" I gesture between us, "isn't helping."
I fully expect her to launch into me again, but to my surprise, she doesn't. Instead, she stares. It’s then I notice the tears brimming in her eyes.
"I've dedicated everything to this job. Everything. And you just waltz in and take it without even realizing what you are doing," she says, her voice barely audible.
"Valerie, I—" She holds a hand up to stop me from finishing my sentence.
"Forget it. Have fun on tour." And with that, she exits my office.
I sit in stunned silence for what feels like an eternity. Her words replay in my mind over and over.
Have fun on tour. Have fun on tour?
As if on cue, Max steps in and takes a seat in one of the chairs facing my desk. "Well, I was hoping to tell you myself."
The look on my face must give away my complete and utter shock, confusion, and horror.
"She said—Valerie said I was going?" I manage to say. “You want me to go on tour with Chaotix?”
Max nods. "Olivia insisted, actually. She feels you've already formed the beginning of a professional relationship with the guys, and to be honest, I think she prefers your company over Valerie. We explained that you were new and that your experience was far from what it needed to be to take on something like this. That's not to say I don't think you're good, because you are. One day you are going to be the best there is, but you aren't there yet. However, she does have the final say."
I shift uncomfortably in my chair, unsure of what to say.
"I feel very conflicted over this decision, Juliet. You need to understand that. On the one hand, I am thrilled that you will get to experience something like this. On the other hand, I am terrified that we are throwing you into the deep end with weights around your ankles. At the end of the day, you will have the full support of the team behind you. We will be on standby at all times to assist you in any way possible, and if you ever feel overwhelmed, you have to be honest about it. This is your sink or swim moment, kid."
I physically can't speak. No matter how hard I try, nothing will come out.
"Juliet?" He asks, worries etched on his face.
I feel like I'm going to hurl. In fact, I'm about 99.9% sure that it's going to happen. I stand from my desk and make a mad dash for the bathroom, where I expel my breakfast into the toilet. Once there is nothing left to come up, I splash cold water on my face.
I look at my reflection in the mirror. My blonde hair is pulled back into a ponytail, and mascara now streaks my face from the water. I look like hell. A damp paper towel gets most of the makeup off, but there are still faint remnants.
Evidence of my meltdown.
I take a few deep breaths and try to steady my racing heart.
When I finally step back out into the hallway, Max stands ready to wrap me into one of his famous bear hugs.
"Can you do this, kid? I won't send you if you can't. We'll just have to explain to Olivia that you simply aren't ready. There is no shame in that, you hear me?" He isn't my boss right now, just a man who cares deeply for me in a paternal way and doesn't want to see me get eaten alive by the crazy world I would be stepping into.
Now that I've released all of my initial shock into the porcelain throne, I can finally make a coherent sentence.
"Do you think I can do this?" I ask, meekly.
Max tightens his grasp on me. "I think you can do anything, Juliet, but only if it's what you want to do."
I think hard about that. Do I want to do this?
If—by some miracle—I am able to pull it off, it would be a game-changer for my career. Most publicists just need that one big break, that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to skyrocket them into the big leagues. The real big leagues.
This could be my shot.
At the same time, if I fail miserably, it could be the end of my career. Wouldn't that be the icing on the cake? A girl, full of promise, snuffed out because she took on something too big too fast. It would be hard to ever be taken seriously in that world again. Sure, I could return to the world of reforming the images of fallen socialites. But is that what I really want? After all of this, after experiencing this side of things? I’m not sure I could ever be content.
These last few weeks of being fully immersed in the world of music publicity have been some of the most exhilarating moments of my life. I had never really considered this area to be the one I wanted to pursue until now. It was exciting and stressful and more of a challenge than anything I had ever done.
"I can do this." The words come out of my mouth, and I believe them. I can do this. I can prove to him and everyone else that even though I'm green, I was made for this.
