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For hours he tells me stories about how he and his brothers grew up in Mexico, how they were all happy until his father left the army, how even after he ended his parents at just seventeen, he is as close as ever with his siblings.
Night falls.
Charlie gets up to make dinner and I decide to help him: peel and cut the carrots while he seasons the meat. We continue talking, standing side by side in the cooking space. He asks a few questions about me and how I grew up with Maksim. “You can carry on from the feelings you were telling me about if you want to?”
I tell him that I can't talk about it. “I'm sorry, Charlie.” But he's understanding. No, more than understanding. As if he never asked me anything at all, he returns to telling me more stories of his childhood.
I can't ever remember a time where I felt so relaxed in someone's company. I'm not sure why I feel so at ease with Charlie, but I do, and I'm glad that I do. Things are better this way.
21
Four days of pure mental connection with Charlie, and my period ends.
I'm so fucking glad that I could die of relief. My desire for him and my overly curious mind are back to a more manageable state, and I'm me again.
We fall back into our routine of sparring at the crack of dawn and eating dinner at sunset, however, now, we have breakfast and lunch together. I pretty much spend all my time with Charlie. I have no idea how he ever makes time for 'work' because he's always with me. Yes, he conducts calls during the daytime—or he does now that I'm done asking questions—but that's where his 'work' seems to end. It's like his life revolves around me. Fuck knows why. I'll be gone in around six week's time.
I try not to think about that—thisending—because I've come to like living with Charlie. I've grown comfortable around him... used to him... I'm not sure how he's achieved making me feel like this, but he has, and I'm thankful. When he first took me from Maksim, my life was turned upside down. There wasn't a single moment of peace in my days. I was always anxious about him and what he might do to me. Now, I look forward to seeing him. I'm at peace all the time. I wake feeling refreshed and rested, and I spend my days in what I can only describe as contentment. There's no carnage with Charlie. There's no brutality. There's no walking on egg shells. There's just...this...
Even in the gym, like now, we're sparring and I'm not focusing on all my natural combatant senses. I don't feel the need to with him anymore, and he knows. He tells me that he knows and asks why. “What's changed?”
I shrug at him, my chest rising and falling with heavy pants because we've been going at it for over an hour straight.
“Here.” He passes me a towel so I can wipe my sweaty face. I do. The soft material is cold because it's been lying over our bottles of water, and it smells like Charlie.
“Do you know what I reckon?” he says, helping me out of the ring by holding my hands.
Standing up to him, I say with a smirk, “What do you reckon, Charlie?” passing back the towel.
He drapes it over the ring ropes and puts an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side where he's warm and damp. He's never done this before. It makes my stomach...flutter?
“I reckon you like me now,” he says in my ear, walking me toward the exit doors, “and not just a little bit.”
“Well, sure I do.” Tipping my neck back, I frown up at him—that's hardly rocket science.
As if he's accomplished a great goal, he grins, then he squeezes me against his side.
“It took long enough,” he says, laughter lingering under his tone. “But you're worth the wait.”
Now my stomach is going like crazy. Does he really mean that?
Reaching the doors, he pushes them open with his other hand and urges me onward with him. It's a little awkward to walk with him like this, under his arm, but I don't mind. I enjoy his affections.
“I've gotta go away this weekend for business,” he says. “Youwant tocome with me?”
Today is the day I discover that he does things other than phone calls, it seems, and I will confess, I'm glad he's offered me the chance to go with him—I want to be around him all the time since that change happened between us. He's not at all like Maksim. He talks to me, spends time with me for things other than jobs, and he's never physically hurt me for being rude and/or insulting.
The fact that he's never hurt me has sealed the deal for me taking a liking to him. He could have conditioned me with brutality, but he hasn't. I think that was his initial plan, to beat me into being loyal to him, but somewhere along the way he's changed his mind. I don't understand why. I don't care to want to understand why. All I do understand is—all I do know is—I like Charlie, and I doubt anything could sway my mind from that now.
“If you want me to go with you,” I say softly, as we reach the bottom of the staircase, “then sure.”
“Don't you get tired of that?”
I turn out from under his arm and walk up a few steps, putting us at eye level.
“Of what?” I grip the banister rail, mentally holding his blue gaze.
“People pleasing,” he says, folding his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall on one shoulder. “Don't you ever justwant todo what you want to do?”
