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When I imagine using the knife on Zalith, it is much easier and hurts a lot less.
I start to walk towards Zalith’s office which is situated at the very end of the hallway. I still haven’t heard anything that indicates that Lorelai has attacked him.
This is it. Once you enter that office, you’ll have to choose a side. Lorelai, the woman you love more than life itself. Or Lodra, and your friend who you have protected your entire life.
I know that many, many people are going to get hurt, no matter what decision I make.
If I choose Lorelai, I’ll have to watch her die before I am killed for treason. All the humans in Lodra will be affected when the naga realize that they can become an actual threat. And that includes Rory.
If I choose the crown, if I choose Zalith, I will betray myself and Lorelai by doing so.
I belong to Lorelai by now, heart and soul. So if I choose Zalith, I’ll be giving away parts of myself that do not belong to me any longer.
The hallway seems to stretch on forever and ever, and I can still hear the crunch of the leaf as it shatters beneath my foot. I can still hear the murmur and sway of the servants as they finish their chores.
I pick up the pace when I hear the shattering of glass in the distance. And I only hope that I get to Zalith on time.
Because I am not sure what I’ll do if I don’t. If I’m not in time, my entire world will come crumbling down at my feet.
24
LORELAI
Zalith looks up from whatever he’s writing on the desk and gives me a smile. The smile is warm and gentle, just the way he always is.
“Hello, Lorelai,” he says. “Having trouble sleeping, too?”
Why does he have to be so kind? It would be so much easier if he could just be a little sharper, a little ruder.
“You learn to sleep pretty lightly when you’re on the run for long enough. Can I ask what you’re doing?”
“Just writing letters,” he replies. “You’d be surprised how much of being Prince is just answering messages. And not exciting ones, either. Just keeping in touch with people, so they’ll be there for you when you need them.”
My hand reaches into my shirt where the dagger is waiting. All it will take is a single move. The same arc will take the blade out of its pocket and plant it firmly in Zalith’s neck. All of the years I’ve spent planning, hoping for this moment, will finally have paid off. I’ll have gotten revenge against the naga and against their royal house.
“Not exactly something I’m good at doing,” I say.
Why am I hesitating? Why isn’t it already done? Why isn’t he already dead?
“So I’ve heard.” He stands up, his smile still warm and kind. “I hope that my wife and I can help to change that for you. And Slyth, of course.
I wish he hadn’t brought up Slyth. Slyth is the worst part of it. I don’t want Rory to hate me. I don’t want to have to go back on the run again after having had a chance to live the luxurious life of a noble. But all of that is nothing compared to what it will do to Slyth. Everything that was ever between us will be destroyed the moment I do this.
But so what? Will I really give up on avenging the deaths of my people just because one of the nagas happened to be handsome and a little nice? Do I really care that little about what I’ve been fighting for all these years? About who I’ve been fighting for?
“You look like something’s upset you,” he observes.
“I’m fine,” I say. “Just something I know I have to do but am having difficulty with at the moment.”
He nods, a portrait of sympathy. “Would you like to tell me more about it?”
Why can’t I make myself do it? I’ve done it a hundred times before to a hundred different naga. My muscles know the movement I have to do. And yet, here I stand, listening to him talk and limp as a puppet. What’s wrong with me?
“I don’t know if it’s the kind of thing a Prince like yourself would be interested in.”
“You might be surprised by what I would be interested in,” he replies. “I care about my subjects. And yes, that includes my human subjects.”
No, I know exactly why it’s so difficult for me to finish this. It’s because I don’t want to. I don’t want to kill Prince Zalith. I’m not angry with him, and I don’t want to give up what I have with Slyth. The one thing I’ve been afraid of this whole time has happened.
