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Despite all the questions and fears around the sudden vision and my period, one thing was certain. Those children were mine, and even though I only glimpsed them for a moment, I loved them so much. I wanted to see them again. My heart was full at the thought of meeting them and watching them grow up.
Thoughts about their fathers and how they would also love their children made me stare off into space, dreaming and smiling to myself.
If that was the future, then it is a bright one. No matter what we have to face, I should remember their faces.
Blinking out of my daydreams and thoughts, I realized I was bleeding rather heavily into the bath. I cleaned myself up again and wiped the bath down before my stomach reminded me I needed painkillers. I picked some out of the bathroom cupboard, popped open the tabs, and threw them in my mouth, following it up with water from the tap.
The pain and suffering women had to deal with for a week of every month was barbaric. But why would I allow myself to suffer when I could just be a cat?
Closing my eyes, I attempted to change forms, but nothing happened.
I can’t turn into my familiar form?
Trying to stop the sudden anxiousness from overwhelming me, I took a deep breath and tried again. But still, nothing happened.
I can’t be a cat again? Ever? Or just during my cycle?
My connection to Charlie hummed between us, our familiar bond, alive and well.But is it temporary? Am I going to stop being a familiar? Am I turning more human? Can a human have a familiar bond?
All I cared about was whether I’d lose Charlie. While never being a cat again would be sad, I prepared myself for that eventuality when I first became human again. But not having my bond with Charlie…It would kill me. If whatever was happening to me didn’t kill me first.
But I’d been given hope that we’d survive whatever was happening through the vision of the children. I can’t have children if I’m dead.And perhaps I do lose our familiar bond, but I don’t lose Charlie. He loves me. He wouldn’t leave me.
Taking deep calming breaths, I mentally planned how I was going to tell the others.
I screamed when the door suddenly banged open, and the lock, which I had drawn across it, pinged into the shower curtain. Baelen’s chest heaved as he stared at me, red eyes swirling and fangs protruding.
CHAPTER20
BAELEN
My hands wrapped around a cup I couldn’t feel. Kaatu examined it, my fingers following the pattern. He’d been touching everything like that as he walked around the cabin and picked up items. Although he didn’t say so to me, from what I saw of his realm, I assumed it had been a long time since he’d seen anything like the things in the human realm.
My head almost always remained facing the window, my eyes looking longingly at the greenery. I could sense the urge he had to explore and touch things outside, but for some reason, he decided to stay indoors, where Zaide had left us.
I would feel sorry for Kaatu, but the longer I remained hidden in the back of my mind, the harder it was to fight him for control of my body. I felt weak and beaten down, which was only made worse when I saw the devastation on Zaide’s face when Kaatu spoke those vile words to him. Denied him. I’d screamed and screamed for him to stop, to just leave things be so there was something in our relationship to be salvaged when this nightmare was over, but I don’t think even Kaatu could hear me, I’d been so pushed out.
My vow to prevent Kaatu from having any knowledge of me had also been broken when Zaide asked about food. Kaatu panicked when I wouldn’t respond to him and so pushed himself into my mind in the blink of an eye. If I had control of my body, I imagined I would have shaken with anger and nausea. Instead, I was a ghost of myself, trapped in my mind.
It’s hard not to feel hopeless when things look so bleak.
“Stop your complaining back there. This is going to end soon, and we’ll all get what we want.”Kaatu rolled my eyes as he paced the room.
He could hear me, so perhaps he was weakening. Or bored. Or simply ignored me as I tried to save my soul bond.
“What makes you believe this is about to end?”
“You are a handsome male with teeth that give a female pleasure. It’s only a matter of time before she falls into your arms.”
Despair filled me. If she fell into my arms when it wasn’t me at the helm … I couldn’t imagine a worse betrayal for either of us.
Kaatu continued, oblivious,“And the protector assured us that the natural portals aren’t affected by him. I’m moments away from saving my realm.”
“I’d be happy for you, but you’ve taken my body, destroyed my relationship with my soul mate, and intend to rape the other.”
“Rape? I won’t rape her. She’ll want it.”He stopped moving, and his voice was shocked.
“She isn’t consenting to sex with you. She believes you are me. It’s violating enough that you are in my mind without you also taking an innocent female too. One who is my soul mate. Perhaps you have been so isolated you’ve forgotten what a blessing a soul bond is and how it should be cherished.”
