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“I’ve been so stressed out and preoccupied with everything else that I haven’t had any morning sickness these last few days.” Lila’s eyes widened suddenly. “You don’t think the explosion, drugs they gave me, and the fall hurt the baby, do you?”
“No, mama bear,” he soothed as he moved to sit beside her. “There’s been no bleeding, so I don’t think you miscarried. Once we get you to the hospital, we’ll have the doctors check out the little one.”
“It’ll be the first time we hear the baby’s heartbeat.” She smiled, but then it faded away. “I remember the first time I heard my son’s heartbeat. I was so overwhelmed, and the whole pregnancy became so real.”
“You were a traumatized teen, Lila. I hope you don’t feel guilty about giving the baby up.”
“It wasn’t really my choice. My parents weren’t going to let me keep him. And I know I wasn’t ready to be a mother, but … they never told me what happened to him. I hope he’s okay. I hope if he knows he was adopted he doesn’t hate me for giving him away.”
“If you want, when we get home, we can ask Eagle to have Raven and Olivia see if they can track him down.”
“I don’t want to unsettle his life if he’s happy. I don’t want to cause him pain,” she said softly, and he could hear her own pain bleed into her voice.
“I don’t think it can hurt your boy to know his mom loved him very much but was in a no-win situation. But we can do whatever you feel comfortable with, sweetheart. I’m sure Raven and Olivia would be happy to do it if you decide it’s what you want.”
“I … I think I’d like that.”
They lapsed into silence as they ate and watched as the last light drained out of the sky, and stars began to twinkle in the inky blackness. When this was all over, and the threat hanging over his team was eliminated, when their little one was old enough as well as any other kids they might have, Surf would love to take his family camping. It would be so nice to sit out watching the stars, surrounded by nature, and this woman snuggled at his side.
After sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows, making s’mores, and telling ghost stories, they would tuck their kids into sleeping bags in their tents, then the two of them would make their own fire. He would stroke his fingers through her silky folds until she was drenched for him, then slide inside her and take her until they both couldn’t hold back any longer. Then he’d capture her screams of pleasure with kisses as they both tumbled over that peak of pleasure.
As though her thoughts mirrored his own, Lila reached out and stroked the bulge in his pants.
“We can’t, sweetheart, not here, not now,” he reminded her. He might be turned on, hard as a rock, but his job right now was to protect her, not ravish her.
“We don’t have to take our clothes off, I know we’re not safe, people are hunting us, and we’re tired and dirty, but I need this, Christian, please.” There was an urgency in her tone that matched his own desperation, and with a growl he grabbed her and lifted her so she was straddling him.
His hand found its way inside her jeans, but it froze, his hard-on fading when he found she wasn’t wearing any underwear.
Stifling a curse, he shifted her further down his legs and pulled her jeans down enough to bare her hips where he could see red marks similar to carpet burn.
Lila had frozen, too, and even in the dark he could see her deer in the headlights expression.
“Why aren’t you wearing any underwear, Lila,” he asked, his voice low and dangerous.
He suspected he knew why she had nothing on beneath her jeans.
Her swallow was audible, and her fingers curled into his tact vest. “Ross he … he made me give him oral a few times, and he was going to go down on me. That’s how I broke his nose and got away.”
A feral roar rumbled through his chest at the thought of his woman being forced to put her mouth on her rapist.
Her fingers stroked his chest, soothing him when he was the one who should be soothing her. “I know there’s a chance we might die out here, and if we don’t survive, I don’t want the last sexual experience I have to be that, memories of him touching me and making me touch him. I need you, Christian. Please.”
That whispered plea shattered him, and Surf dragged a finger across her core, then found her little bundle of nerves and began to swirl the tip of his finger across it. He would wipe away every bad memory the man had given her and replace them with good ones. Ones where she and she alone was in charge of who touched her and when.
As he increased the speed and pressure of his touch, Lila’s hips began to undulate. One finger went inside her, then another. He curled them so they stroked that spot hidden inside her that was guaranteed to make her fall apart.
Lila’s breathing became ragged. He could feel her internal muscles begin to quiver as she got closer to release. His fingers pumped in and out, grazing that spot inside, while his thumb kept up a steady pace on her tight little bud.
“Christian,” she said on a gasp as pleasure hit. Her muscles clamped around his fingers, and he didn’t stop touching her, drawing out her orgasm until he was sure he had given her every last drop of pleasure she deserved.
With a content sigh she collapsed forward, their fronts pressed together. Keeping her locked against him with one arm around her waist, his other hand withdrew from inside her pants, and he brought his fingers to his mouth sucking her juices off.
Her eyes flared with molten desire, but when she reached for him to return the favor, he gently grasped her wrist. “No, sweetheart, not tonight. Tonight was just for you.”
“But …”
“No buts, baby.” Bringing her hand to his lips, he touched a kiss to the tip of each fingertip, then her palm, and then to the inside of her wrist where he could feel her pulse fluttering against his lips. “I wish I could take away all your pain. All the horrible things you’ve had to endure.”
