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"No, no, that's okay," he says. "I'm pretty exhausted, but--hold on--"
A big crackle sounds and then all the sound on the other line gets muffled. I hear a few other people talking--I can't tell who--then Steven comes back.
"Who was that?" I ask.
"Just my roommate," he says. "What's up?"
"Uh..." I flounder for an answer, fiddling with a loose thread on my old comforter. "Just--I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you."
He doesn't reply for a second.
I hold my breath.
"I miss you too, babe," he says softly. "How's Fern Hollow?"
Does he know? About Finn, about all the things I've been thinking...no, he can't.
He couldn't possibly.
"Fern Hollow is the same as always," I reply with an awkward laugh. "I've already run into a lot of old friends, been spending lots of time with my parents and helping out around the restaurant. I can't wait for you to get here and meet everyone."
He goes quiet again. Too quiet, making me wonder why I even called.
"Yeah, about that," he mutters.
No.
No way.
"I wish I didn't have to tell you this, Jenny, but...they extended an offer for another month out here doing research," he says. "It's a great opportunity, but I won't take it if you--"
"You should take it," I blurt out.
He's a genius doing important work, I remind myself for the millionth time.
"I know I'm going to miss your friend's wedding and...shit, your birthday too," he says. "This isn't the way I wanted it to be."
My heart sinks. Another month without him? How am I supposed to handle that? I try to keep my voice steady, but it's a struggle.
"I understand," I say, forcing a small smile. He can't see it, of course, but my hope is that it will make me feel like less of an idiot. It doesn't. "It's a great opportunity, and I'm proud of you for getting it."
"Are you sure?" he asks, sounding worried.
"Of course," I reply, trying to sound more convincing than I feel. "I want you to be happy, and this is a big deal for your career."
There's a long pause on the other end of the line.
"I love you, Jenny," he finally says.
"I love you too," I reply, but my heart just doesn't feel like it's in it.
"Goodnight," he says.
"Night."
I hang up the phone and stare at it for a long time, wondering how I'm going to make it through these next few months. I thought I could handle a long-distance relationship, but two more months feels like an eternity.
I crawl into bed, feeling lonely and sad. And just as I'm about to turn out my light, my phone buzzes.
