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A little shiver runs over my body. This is the first time we’ve really spoken about his other life and the work it involves. I’m getting a sense of just how huge it all is.
“So you had him invent a… a drug?”
His eyes finally open. They veer to me, more gold than amber right now. “Venera is a drug, yes, but it’s meant to be a poppable aphrodisiac. We conducted months of trials to ensure that its effects weren’t harmful or addictive. We were so thorough. Except now, five people are dead and my whole venture is over before it even started.”
I’ve never heard him talk like this. The defeatist attitude is not him. I move even closer, cup his face with my palm, and force him to look at me.
“Nothingis over,” I insist. “You’re Ruslan fucking Oryolov. There’s nothing you can’t fix.”
“I can’t bring people back from the dead.”
My face drops. “Right. No, of course not. I’m sorry—that was a stupid thing to say.”
He doesn’t smile but his expression softens, just a little. His eyebrows relax and his mouth isn’t quite so severe a straight line.
“How much trouble are you in?”
His jaw sets firmly. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Now,there’sthe Ruslan I know.”
He laughs bitterly and I keep running a hand over his jaw, his arms, his abs. I’m not quite sure what to do in this situation but I do know that now is not the right moment to tell him about Remmy. I desperatelywantto. But it’s too much in one night. He needs the peace of this apartment.
Maybe he even needsme.
“Can I get you anything?” I ask softly.
His eyes graze over my face. “I have everything I need right now.”
Then he kisses me. Soft and slow, his lips feel like they’re caressing mine. I always seem to lose myself in him, but this is the first time I feel like he’s trying to lose himself in me. I try to memorize how it feels, smells, looks, sounds.
I have to remember it all.
Growling into my lips, his hands scour my body, tugging at my panties before he’s even gotten my shirt off. He buries his face between my breasts, kneading my nipples with his tongue while he slides his fingers in and out of me. I cling to him, intoxicated by the strength in those arms that still manage to be so gentle.
I writhe on his hand, desperate for the orgasm he’s promising. But tonight, I want to give him what he gives me. I want to erase all possibility of thought from his head until it’s just him and me—two naked bodies minus all the noise.
I have to push him off me. His irises are dilated, his gaze intense. But before he can pull me back against him, I slide down to his waist and pull his boxer briefs off. I slide my tongue over his tip, lapping up the drop of pre-cum.
Cupping his balls, I run my tongue down the length of him, honing in on the most sensitive parts of him that I’ve discovered over the last few months. I like knowing what makes him moan, what makes him sigh, what makes him stiffen and buck and bite his lip. I suck him slow, deeper and deeper, inch by inch.
“Fuck,” he moans. “Fuck—Emma…”
I don’t let up. Even when tears bead up in the corners of my eyes, I keep going. I swallow his cock as my hands work him up and down until his twitching intensifies, his breath shortens, and then he comes.
“Fuck!”
He explodes in my mouth and I swallow every last drop until he has nothing left to give. Wiping my lips, I rise back up and catch my breath. His chest rises and falls, little droplets of sweat dancing along his pecs. I climb on top of him and start licking each one of them off.
His eyes flutter closed as he lets me tend to him. Then, when his breathing has steadied, he grabs me unexpectedly and flips me to my side while I let out a sound that’s halfway between a gasp and a squeal. He tucks me underneath one arm and wraps the other around my waist.
I feel his lips at my shoulder and then, seconds later, his breath tickling my neck. “Ruslan…?”
But I already know he’s asleep. That’s another first, another indication that he’s getting more comfortable with me. He never falls asleep first.
A part of me is relieved. But an equally big part of me is terrified.
I’ll tell him about Remmy first thing tomorrow.
