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I hate leaving Ben alone with the kids. But some days, it’s unavoidable.
“Guys?”
The moment I hear thepitter-patterof little feet, I breathe a sigh of relief. Then Caroline and Reagan round the corner at Mach 10, slamming into me like blond bullets. Their giggles are strangely muted, though, and when Reagan lets out a panicked little squeal when I try to tickle her under the arms, Caroline slaps a finger over her mouth and stares at her sister with wide, reproachful eyes.
I plop down on the arm of the sofa. “Guys, what’s wrong? Why are you being so quiet?”
“‘Cause Daddy’s sweeping,” Reagan whispers in her baby voice.
“Sleeping,” Caroline corrects haughtily. “Daddy’s sleeping and he told us that if we made any noise, he’d drag us into his room by our ears and beat our butts until they were black and blue.”
Reagan looks at me with her bottom lip sticking out. “I don’t want my bottom to be black and blue, Auntie Em!”
“He really said that to you?”
Both girls nod in unison. My lip curls up into a furious sneer.I’d like to beat their father until he’s black and blue.
“Where’s Josh?” I say instead in as controlled a tone as I can muster.
“He’s making dinner. We’re having pasta with cut-up sausages!” Reagan whoops. That earns her another glare from Caroline. Then the girls scurry into the kitchen, gesturing for me to follow them.
I find Josh at the stove, prepping the pasta. “Josh?” I ask as we approach. “You okay?”
The way his shoulders stiffen and the fact that it takes him a moment to turn around tells me that he’s very far from okay.
“Girls, why don’t you go wash up and get ready for dinner?” I suggest. The moment they’re gone, I walk over to Josh. “What happened?”
He’s not meeting my eye. He just keeps stirring the pasta unnecessarily. I clamp a hand down on his wrist, forcing him to stop.
“Josh, honey, talk to me.”
“Nothinghappened.It’s just the same old shit as always.” As soon as the uncharacteristic curse flies out of his mouth, he flinches and his cheeks flood with red shame. “I-I’m sorry…”
As his face crumples, I grab him and pull him to me. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, little man.” I keep whispering softly to him. “Everything’s gonna be alright.”
He pushes back a little and frowns at me. “Do you really believe that?”
I take a deep breath and gesture for him to join me at the table. “I know things have been bad lately. Your dad’s just… in a dark place. He’s lost right now, but he does love you guys.”
Josh’s nose gets red, a sure fire sign that he’s fighting tears. “No, he doesn’t,” he snaps flatly. “If he really loved us, he wouldn’t threaten to beat us over every little thing.”
My jaw clenches. I could kill that asshole right now.
“I could take him, you know. If he tried.”
I stare at my eight-year-old nephew. His eyes are thin slits, his nostrils flared, his fists clenched and trembling at his sides. He looks like he’s ready for a fight.
“Josh—”
“Ruslan’s been teaching me what to do. I could protect the girls from him. I could protect you, too.”
I put my hands down on his quivering shoulders. “Sweetheart, I appreciate that; I do. But it’s not your job to protect me or the girls. It’smyjob to protectyou. Listen—”
Before I can finish my sentence, the girls rush into the kitchen, whisper-shouting that they’re hungry. Sighing, I stand and go to get them situated.
I fill their bowls with pasta before slipping out of the kitchen under the pretense of changing out of my work clothes. On the way, I detour into Ben’s room and find him lying face down on his bed, drool forming a dark stain around his mouth.
Wrinkling my nose in disgust, I grab a pillow that he’s kicked to the floor and whack him with it. He doesn’t so much as flinch, so I keep at it until he stirs.
