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“Ladies, pack your bags because we fly out tomorrow morning and head out on ...”
We held our breath, each of us leaning forward, waiting for her to finish the sentence that would catapult us out onto our next journey.
“A cougar cruise!” She finished with a huge smile, opening the piece of paper to show us what she’d written.
“Cougars?” Doris shrieked. “I’m not cruising with cougars! Those things could kill us!”
Alice smacked her forehead. “Cougars like older ladies, Doris. A cougar cruise is a cruise where older ladies meet younger men, known as cubs.”
Doris gasped and clutched her chest. “I’m married!”
“And I’m getting married.” I arched an eyebrow.
“And I’ve got Roxie. I don’t need a cruise. I’m already a cougar.” Marge waggled her eyebrows.
“You don’t have to go cougaring yourselves, ladies. This is my wish, and I want to go on a cougar cruise and treat myself to some time with young, sexy studs in the sun. You can just soak up the rays, sip the fruity cocktails and enjoy the cruise that will take us all through the Caribbean! Antigua, Barbados, Cozumel, Puerto Vallarta ... we’re gonna see it all, babies!”
She lifted her hands in the air like the grand finale to one of her critically acclaimed performances.
At first, a bit of anxiety bubbled up when I considered what Tom would think of me jumping on a ship filled with horny young men. But then I remembered how he’d dipped me backward and kissed me before I’d left, telling me to jump into each adventure with both feet and not worry about him while I was gone.
“Okay! I’m in!” I jumped up. “We’re going on a cougar cruise!”
“Yay!” Alice hopped up and down. “Ladies? You ready to get your cruise on?”
She and I turned to face Doris and Marge. Marge slapped her thighs and stood up. “Let’s do it, baby!”
We cheered and turned to look at Doris. She chewed on her lower lip. “And there won’t be any real cougars there, right? I don’t like wild animals.”
“No real cougars, Doris. The only cougar you need to worry about is this one.” I waved a hand over Alice as she curtseyed.
Finally, Doris stood. “Okay! I’m in!”
“The band is back together again!” Marge shouted, grabbing the bottle of whiskey from Alice and taking a swig. We all followed suit, finishing with a big group hug.
“Look out, boys! I’m coming!” Alice cheered, and then hugged us again.
ALICE
