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“It’s not funny!” I shouted back.
That didn’t stop her rolling laughter.
“Hold on, Doris! We’re almost to the end! I can see the platform!” Alice shouted.
I looked up and saw the end of the line just up ahead. It felt like an eternity as I flew toward it, the monkey still riding me like a horse. But just as we neared the edge and saw the men waiting to catch us, I felt it move on my back, and finally, it launched off me, then the weight disappeared.
“Is it gone? Is it gone?” I screeched.
“It’s gone! All clear! He jumped back into the trees!” Marge called back.
I breathed a sigh and threw up a thank you prayer as the brakes kicked in and slowed me down. A man stood at the end of each zip line, grabbing and pulling us to safety when we arrived.
“Are you okay?” The man handling my lines asked. “Was that a monkey on you?”
“Yes!” I scrambled to get up, fighting my restraints. “I got attacked!”
“You didn’t get attacked,” Sylvie chuckled as she slowed to a stop. “It just mistimed its jump. You didn’t get bit or scratched, did you?”
I kicked off my harness and jumped up, feeling all over my face and body for wounds that would open me up to a myriad of monkey diseases that terrified me. When I felt nothing, I blew out a sigh. “Thank the Lord, but I think I’m okay. Is there ... is there any poop on me?”
I tried to spin around to look at my back but couldn’t see.
The man who had caught me shook his head, his smile starting to form, though he fought it. “I don’t see any poop on you.”
I let out a sigh of relief.
“I can’t believe that happened!” Alice laughed as she got up. “You literally had a monkey on your head!”
“Best. Thing. Ever!” Marge stood, placed her hands on her knees and howled with laughter.
“It’s not funny!” I swatted the air at her. “I could have been hurt!”
“The only thing that’s gonna be hurt are Axel’s feelings.” Marge snorted.
I tipped my head. “What?”
“Are you gonna tell him that you let a monkey get fresh with you? I swear that thing was humping your head.”
My eyes bulged as my mouth dropped. “Marge!”
Alice snorted the most unladylike sound, then closed her eyes and let out a laugh louder than I’d ever heard come out of her. “Oh, my God! You did! You got humped by a monkey!”
“He was nothumpingme!” I stomped my foot. “He was just holding my head.”
Marge tossed an arm around Alice, the two of them continuing to roll with laughter. “I think he liked you. I think he saw you flying toward him, jumped on, and was humping you.”
“He was not!” I stomped my foot harder. “You’re disgusting!”
“Girls. Stop teasing Doris. It wasn’t humping her,” Sylvie started seriously, but laughter soon choked out of her, and her shoulders shook as she tried to hold it in. Finally, it spilled out in waves, her eyes closing as she folded forward. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Doris! But oh my God! You had a monkey on your head!”
The three of them laughed so hard that finally, the horror of my situation started sloughing off me, and their contagious laughter took hold. First, a small snort, then a slight chuckle, and soon I was rolling as hard as they were. We laughed so loudly standing up there in the treetops that I swore everyone in Mexico must have heard our howls.
“You’re okay, though? No injuries?” My guide asked, but we were too caught up in our laughter to answer right away.
“I’m fine. I’m fine,” I finally managed, then let out a long sigh trying to catch my breath.
“It’s happened once or twice before.” Sylvie’s guide said. “I’ve never seen it myself, but I’ve heard stories of the monkeys hitching a ride. I’m not gonna lie. I never really believed them, but after seeing that monkey flying down on your back today, I believe it.”
