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“Uh huh,” Matty’s voice was nothing but a whisper, tears burning at the corners of his eyes.Are ya gonna cry now, you fucking pussy? Because I can give you something to really cry about…
Reaching out, Austin pulled him against his broad chest in the gentlest of movements. Squeezing Matty’s slender frame, Austin mumbled against his neck, his voice muffled. “Yeah, I kinda figured, sweetheart.”
Simultaneously, a tear broke from each of Matty’s eyes, and he buried a whimper against Austin’s fragrant, blue cotton t-shirt.
“Who?” Austin pressed the solitary word against Matty’s skin.
“My father.”
“Jesus Christ…” Austin shook his head. “Motherfucker.”
“It’s okay, it’s over—” the last part of his sentence was swallowed up by Austin’s deep, shaky voice.
“No! It might be over, but it was never fucking okay.”
The anger and agony in Austin’s voice was palpable. It hung in the air like a testimony that someone else knew now. Someone aside from Ethan. Someone in Grant’s Harbor knew the reason behind Matty showing up a little over a year ago.
“What did he hit you with?” Austin whispered.
“Anything within reach. A belt mostly… if he couldn’t find anything, his fists. Or his boots…”
“Fuck! That piece of shit…” The usually calm Austin now gave off the same kind of turmoil as the ocean seconds before a storm hit and all hell broke loose.
Matty exhaled, his gaze searching for Austin’s, a silent plea in his blue eyes.Please don’t think less of me. Please don’t see me as a victim. Please don’t pity me.Slowly, the anger evaporated from Austin’s features and was replaced by a tenderness. A protectiveness.
“I’m glad you ran away, Matty. I’m glad you came here. I fucking hate that this happened to you, but I’m glad that you came here.” Austin released his large hands from Matty’s shoulders, placing them on his cheeks instead. He searched Matty’s face, his gray eyes worried with just a hint of anger left. “Does that make me a bad person, sweetheart?”
Matty shook his head furiously, tears trailing down his cheeks.
“No, it doesn’t.” Biting his cheek, Matty shut out the rest of the world, focusing entirely on the boy in front of him. “There’s nothing bad about you, Austin. There’s only good.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Matty – Then
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOyou. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Matty. Happy birthday to youuuuuu.”Millie wiped at her eyes, nodding at Matty to blow out the candles on his chocolate birthday cake.
Eighteen candles. It was his eighteenth birthday and Will and Millie had woken him up with hugs and a brand-new pair of Carhartt cargo pants and a bright red t-shirt sporting a lobster on the front.Party like a lobstar!That’s what it said below the lobster wearing dark sunglasses. Will hadn’t been able to contain his excitement as Matty had unwrapped the gift, Millie knocking her elbow into her husband’s ribs. The best gift was saved for later, though, when he would be alone with Austin.
“Go on, sweetheart. Blow out the candles,” Millie squeezed his shoulder fondly, nodding at the massive cake.
“Yeah,” Will’s voice boomed through the small kitchen while he ruffled Matty’s blond curls. “Wanna see how many girlfriends you have, son.”
Boyfriends,Matty corrected silently in his head. He hadn’t told Millie and Will yet. Austin had told his dad and Mr. O’Neil was okay with it, Austin had said.“You boys just keep it PG under my roof,”he’d stressed, and Austin had agreed. Even though the age of consent was sixteen in Maine, they’d decided to wait. Plenty other things you could do with your gorgeous boyfriend that didn’t involve actual sex. So yeah, he hadn’t told Millie and Will yet. But he was going to. Now that he was eighteen and an adult, he was going to. He wasn’t nervous about telling them. He knew that they both adored Austin. Matty just needed to find the right words.
Jesus. He had a boyfriend. It still blew his mind from time to time. Matty had always thought that he liked girls. And he did. He did like girls. A lot. He’d never been interested in guys before that infamous day at the docks. Not like Ethan. His chest tightened as he thought about his best friend. Where was Ethan right now? Was Ethan thinking of him? He’d always imagined that they’d celebrate his eighteenth birthday together.
Matty closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and blew out the candles. All but one. Millie and Will clapped in unison as he thought of his plans with his boyfriend later. He felt his cheeks heat up at the thought of finally being able to do all the things with Austin that he’d longed for. It wasn’t like they hadn’t done other things. In fact, they’d done a lot in Austin’s queen-sized bed in his apartment above his dad’s garage. Basically, everything which ended injob.They knew that they were stretching the definition of PG a bit too far at times, but for fuck’s sake, they were both young, horny guys and they were crazy about each other. They were. He was fucking mad with lust for Austin.
It had taken Matty completely by surprise. He’d never thought of dudes as hot or beautiful even. Then fifteen months ago, during that blistering July heatwave, everything had suddenly changed from one moment to the next.
And then a few days later, Austin had asked him to go swimming and they’d kissed underwater and again behind the bait shop. A week later they’d made out on Austin’s dad’s couch while he was in Biddeford. As hot July afternoons had turned into warm August nights, Austin had asked Matty if he wanted to be his boyfriend. He’d never wanted anything more, he realized as he’d thrown himself at Austin making him stumble back on his bed giggling while Matty had covered him in what had felt like a thousand kisses.
Yeah, he thought to himself as Millie placed a generous piece of chocolate cake in front of him. That’d been the best day ever. Except for every day after that with Austin as his boyfriend. Only one thing missing. He wanted to share it with Ethan. He wanted to tell his best friend that he, too, was into boys. That now he knew what Ethan had been talking about all those years ago when they’d shared a lukewarm Mountain Dew under the bleachers. That he knew exactly what it felt like and tasted like to kiss a boy. Whether it was different from kissing a girl was still undecided. Because he’d only ever kissed one girl and couldn’t recall how it had felt no matter how hard he tried.
Carving out a piece of cake with his fork, Matty wondered what Ethan was up to right now. Did he, too, have a boyfriend? There were so many questions piling up inside of him that he wanted to ask Ethan. He’d thought about calling him numerous times over the past two years, but each time he’d chickened out. What if they found him? The thought alone of being found by the police here in Grant’s Harbor made him sick to his stomach. He couldn’t risk it. Instead, he waited. Every day he waited for Ethan to suddenly turn up outta nowhere, a broad grin on his face and say, “hey, man.” Yeah, maybe next year. Maybe. Hopefully.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
