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Turning around, he gazed back at the ocean. Again, Austin rubbed carefully at his back with the towel, before dropping it to the sandy ground beneath their feet. Suddenly, Austin’s fingertips brushed against his right shoulder blade, tracing the outline of the protruding bone. Featherlight, his touch was like a cool breeze against Matty’s overheated skin. Coming to a stop just at the top of Matty’s spine, Austin’s entire hand rested reverently against the back of Matty’s neck.
I could snap ya like a twig, you know that, you little shit. No one but that whore of a mother would miss ya. No one, so don’t fucking tempt me, boy.Squeezing his eyes shut, breathing through his nose, Matty reminded himself that this was Austin. Austin’s hand. Not his father’s. Thousands of miles lay between him and that man at this very moment. And more importantly, not all hands were made to hurt. Some, most even, were made to comfort and protect.
Leaning into Austin’s hold, Matty felt the air leave his lungs, his mind going blank as the all-consuming presence of Austin behind him calmed him. Heat emanated from Austin’s body and engulfed him like a huge wave of warmth and safety. Yes, even though he had his back turned, he felt entirely safe. No doubt in his mind that Austin would never hurt him in any way. He didn’t know why he knew this with such certainty. He just did.
Tracing the tips of his calloused fingers along Matty’s spine, Austin leaned in and brushed a light kiss against his right shoulder blade. The imprint of Austin’s lips burned into his skin, a tingling sensation spreading out into every corner of his body. Into every bone and vein until it settled in his core like a small bonfire.
“You’re so beautiful, Matty.” Another soft kiss. “And you smell so good, too.” Kiss. “I think about you all the time.” Kiss. “Shit, I can’t stop my mind from thinking about you all the time.” Kiss.
Waking from his stupor, Matty turned around, his gaze colliding with Austin’s broad chest.Beautiful.Suddenly, he felt uncertainty which quickly transformed into a feeling of self-doubt and defeat.Who the fuck do ya think you are? You’re nothing more than a piece of shit under my boot, you fucking crybaby.
The familiar feeling of spinning out of control and being torn apart by an invisible force once again invaded Matty’s body and mind. Was it always going to be like this? Every kind word being obliterated into dust by his father’s words. Was the bad always going to erase everything good in the end? Then a faint, determined voice started growing and the tightness in his chest began to slowly lift. Ethan.Fuck’em, Matty! Fuck’em! You’re the coolest fucking boy in the world, so just fuck’em!
He lifted his chin and his eyes connected with a pair of gentle, gray eyes. The color of the sky seconds before it started raining. Or the color of Peterson’s summer kittens back in Texas. The color of his favorite sweatshirt smelling of Millie’s lavender laundry detergent. Exhaling, Ethan’s words settled in his chest.
“I think you’re very beautiful too, Austin,” he whispered, the wind pulling at his words as soon as they’d left his mouth. But he didn’t have to wonder if Austin had heard him, because the look of pure, unfiltered joy in Austin’s eyes was all the confirmation he needed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Ethan – Now
“DID YOU LIKEthat?” Avery brushed a stray lock of hair out of Ethan’s eyes. “Being in charge.”
“Yes.” Ethan blushed at the recollection of what had happened between the two of them a few hours ago. They’d fallen asleep after having sex and now they were lying next to each other in the lumpy motel bed. Noise from the street outside was coming through the slightly ajar window. There was a bar next to the motel and a little while ago there’d been some drunken shouting just outside in the parking lot.
“Okay, don’t drown me in detail, Ethan.” Avery knocked at his left elbow, a sleepy smile covering his still puffy lips.
“What do you want me to say?” Ethan looked questioningly at Avery. It was strange talking about what had happened between them. His cheeks flushed at the memory of the words which had slipped from his lips while he’d fucked Avery’s mouth.
“I don’t know. I don’twantyou to say anything. I was just curious.” Avery bent down and kissed Ethan’s shoulder, humming quietly.
“Didyoulike it?” Ethan swallowed behind the lump building in his throat. It’d definitely seemed like Avery had liked everything he’d done to him.
“Yes, very much,” Avery smiled, a sated look in his indigo eyes, while he continued to shower kisses on Ethan’s upper body. Ethan loved that Avery was so affectionate. He’d never had that with any of his previous hookups. It was more a matter of getting off. No post-orgasmic cuddling or conversation.
“I’ve always known that I prefer being submissive in a sexual relationship.” A slight blush bled through Avery’s tanned skin. “When you ordered me around and told me what to do… That was so fucking sexy. Such a turn-on.”
“Yeah?” Ethan sat up against the headboard, looking down at Avery. “It wasn’t too much?”
“No, not even close. I mean, I’m not into demeaning shit, but I prefer a partner who’s dominant and a little rough—physically as well as verbally.”
“Yeah, I kinda got that,” Ethan chuckled. “It was pretty hot the way you just let me boss you around.”
“It was. You were pretty good at bossing me around. But then again, I kind of took you for a dominant lover all along.” Avery grinned while pinching Ethan’s left nipple, making him hiss.
“Why?” Ethan asked, his voice tainted with an edge of disbelief.
“It’s just an aura you give off. That and the fact that you’re bigger than me. And so fucking controlled. You just gave off that hot as fuck bossy vibe. It’s always the quiet, serious type, you know.” Avery licked his lips, his gaze moving to Ethan’s growing erection.
They were both still naked and Avery looked, if possible, even more beautiful in the dim evening light spilling through the thin, nicotine-stained curtains. His skin had taken on an almost translucent glow, the dips and curves of his body looking like a multicolored landscape.
“But I’m younger than you,” Ethan blurted, a confused frown between his brows.
“So?”
“Isn’t the older guy usually the dominant one? Thedaddy?” It looked like someone had painted Ethan’s face with a pink watercolor. First tinting his cheeks, then his throat until the color spilled further down his chest. Embarrassment but also desire coursed through his body.
“No, not necessarily. I mean, just because you have dominant tendencies and prefer to be in charge sexually, doesn’t automatically make you a daddy. And dominance has nothing to do with age. That’s misconstrued. Besides, I don’t feel older when we’re together. Sure, when I’m back in Boston, I have to blend in. You know, be theprofessor.I don’t feel that way when I’m on the road. Or when I was doing the excavation. I feel more like me, you know? Or at least, a more authentic version of myself. Does that sound strange?”
