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Redbull always said that his biggest problem was follow-up. Girls like you, he’d say. But you wait too long and then they move on. Jason said similar things, though he was less blunt than Redbull. Jason said things like, You could have a girlfriend if you want to. You’d be a kickass boyfriend, and I can say that because I’m a hundred percent confident in my masculinity.
His therapist said he needed to deal with his anger about being abandoned, and his fear that it might happen again.
She might have a point. But he had no idea what that looked like, “dealing with his anger.” As for fear, he faced fears all the time, but they were physical, tangible fears, things like getting mauled by a bear, or drowning in a waterfall, getting lost in a storm. And none of those fears were for himself; he feared only for his clients.
He set the LED lantern into a crevice halfway up the cave wall. It cast an eerie, almost moonlit glow around the space.
“Come on in,” he called to Brenda. “It’s safe and dry and nobody’s booked it for the night. It’s all ours.”
“And it’s deluxe!” As she ducked inside, she clapped her hands together. “This is perfect.”
She couldn’t have looked happier if he’d presented her with a five-star hotel suite overlooking the ocean. He appreciated that deeply. He could only imagine what this trip would have been like with someone less game than Brenda.
“I was thinking we’d set up our sleeping bags over here.” He crouched down next to the flattest spot in the cave and began tossing aside any rock bigger than a pebble.
“This is where we should put the kitchen.” She gestured toward a shelf-like protrusion from the wall of the cave. He didn’t want to tell her that it was a giant mushroom, but in the next moment she figured it out for herself, and snatched her hand back. “Never mind, I’ll let you do the interior decorating.”
He spread out his ground cloth, then unrolled the two sleeping bags, putting them head to toe. “We’ll be next to each other for warmth, but…”
He trailed off as she picked up one of the sleeping bags and reoriented it so they pointed the same way. “I prefer it this way, if you don’t mind. I tend to kick in my sleep. I don’t want to knock you unconscious while you’re…well, I guess you’d already be unconscious. I wouldn’t want to knock you more unconscious.”
Oh God. How was he going to be able to sleep if he could simply lift one eyelid and feast his eyes on the sweet curves of her face and the fall of her hair? He reminded himself that it would be dark once he turned the lantern off, but that didn’t help. He’d be alone with Brenda in the dark, and that brought all kinds of sensual images to mind.
He cleared his throat. “I’ll move the bags further apart.”
“Do you have to?” She stepped next to him and took his hand. What was going on? “I’d rather sleep close to you.”
“Safety?” he managed. “I promise you’re safe here. I’ll protect you.”
“I know that. Thank you. It’s not that. It’s because I like being close to you. I feel like we’ve been through an ordeal and we…bonded? Is it just me?”
“No,” he said quickly. If she thought they’d bonded, he wasn’t going to say otherwise.
“I guess I…don’t want it to end. Do you mind?”
Dumbly, he shook his head. A smile curved her lips; not one of her usual gentle smiles, but a much more wicked one. “Besides, Storm Brenda is in charge right now.”
“Storm Brenda?”
“I guess that’s what happens when I get caught in a storm. A different side of me comes out.” Her sea-green eyes held his. Was she going to kiss him again? In a flash, he realized that she was considering it, and that he couldn’t let her do that.
This time, it was up to him.
He curved his hand around the back of her head. The silky strands of her hair cascaded across his skin. They caught golden fire from the lantern. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, pouring his whole heart into those words.
Her lips parted. Surprise? Invitation? He waited one more beat, to give her time to object, to back away, but she didn’t. So he claimed those fresh lips with a kiss that felt like so much more than a kiss.
It felt like a revelation. Here I am. This is what I feel. This is how much I want you.
She kissed him back, without any hesitation. In a moment, he was tasting her deeply, drinking from her sweetness, exploring the exquisitely tender warmth of her mouth. His heart raced so fast he thought it might explode. If so, it would be a race between his heart and his head. It was surreal to be kissing here under this overhang, with the wind rustling the bushes just outside. A few steps away, a storm was fading. Inside, the storm was taking hold.
With his other hand, he palmed her lower back to hold her closer. Her body bent like a willow, her middle pressed against his. He was so hard he worried that he might frighten her away with his intense reaction to her. He tried to shift his hips so she wouldn’t notice, but it was no use. She refused to lose contact, as if they were joined together at their cores.
He wanted to throw her down right there on the sleeping bags, but surely she wouldn’t want that. It wasn’t the proper place for an angel like her. They were both dirty and sweaty from the hike, not to mention exhausted. And then there was his beard. It had probably picked up a few twigs and bits of dead leaves along the way. There was no way he was going to sully her perfection with his grime.
He moved his hands to her shoulders and firmly drew away from her. She gazed up at him, her eyes as dreamy as frosted sea glass. “I want you,” he said simply. “But not here.”
She blinked at him, slowly coming back to awareness. “Why not here?”
