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Jason stretched out on his side so he could watch her. He was so sexy with his long limbs and relaxed manner. Like nothing could really faze him. What did it take to become that comfortable with yourself—and with the rest of the world? She had no problem loving herself. Her parents had instilled that in her from an early age. But sometimes she struggled with some of the bullshit out there.
“To be honest, it pisses me off that we even have to have a conversation like this. I wish racism never existed. Or that it’s like thinking the Earth is flat. Like you can’t understand why anyone ever believed that.”
“Damn right. I bet we’ll get there. I don’t know when.”
“Maybe next week?” she said hopefully.
As he laughed, she watched his chest rise and fall. She wanted to touch him, but she resisted the urge.
“It’s weird, but it feels good to talk about this stuff,” he said. “I don’t usually have conversations like this. We tiptoe around it, all Minnesota-nice.”
“Maybe that’s part of the problem. Isn’t it better to talk about it?”
“There you go, being right again. Damn you, Kendra Carter.”
“Shut up.” With a laugh, she reached forward to swat him on the chest. The desire to touch him was just too irresistible, and this seemed like the perfect excuse. His chest was hard and muscular, just as she’d imagined.
When she tried to withdrew her hand, he caught her wrist and kept it where it was. “Where are you going?” he murmured.
“I don’t know. Where are you going?”
“Wherever you are.” He grinned at her. God, he looked good in the starlit darkness. He was like liquid sex poured into a six-foot body. “By the way, I always liked it when you got riled up. It was hot.”
“Oh, you thought it was hot?” Her heart was doing this odd skipping thing that made her voice sound husky. “Even when I was lecturing you about studying harder?”
“Especially then. Because you’d be aiming those gorgeous eyes at me. You have the brightest eyes in the world, do you know that?”
“They’re basically…brown. Dark brown.”
“No. They shine and sparkle and glow. It’s like there’s all this fire inside you, and it’s right there in your eyes. It’s a beautiful thing.”
Wow. She’d been complimented before, of course, but never in such a heartfelt way. Jason had a sincerity about him that Dominic, for instance, couldn’t begin to imitate. “Thank you. That’s…nice.”
Her hand was still pressed against his chest. She felt the steady thump of his heartbeat. The same rhythm seemed to echo in her own eardrums, as if their systems were synchronizing with each other. “You’re welcome. But it’s just the truth. You’re a star, Kendra Carter. You always were.”
She scooted closer to him, curled herself into the shelter of his stretched-out body, and rested her elbow on his hip.
“You know, sometimes you sound like you had a crush on me in high school.”
“I wouldn’t say that. I looked up to you. I thought you were incredible. But it wasn’t really a crush. Maybe I would have, but there was…”
“Gretchen.” She finished the sentence for him. She’d almost forgotten about Gretchen. But of course he hadn’t. He was probably still in love with her. You didn’t switch gears that fast.
“Yeah. And, you know, she had sex with me.” He grinned widely. “It’s hard to beat that when you’re a teenager.”
“You were each other’s firsts?”
“Yes. Ironically, that was one of our problems. FOMO. You know, who else is out there? What are you missing out on by staying with the first person you sleep with? I mean, it works for some people, obviously. In the end, I guess we just didn’t love each other to that extent.”
“I always thought you’d get married and have a bunch of kids by now.”
“Yeah. I can see why you would think that. But no. I hope she gets pregnant soon,” he added thoughtfully. “She always talked about wanting kids. And I was always like, yeah, sure, someday. I guess she got fed up with me.”
“So you don’t want kids? I’m confused.”
Amazing how this conversation was covering all kinds of ground. Usually she avoided the big topics in the early stages of getting to know a guy. But of course, this was different. She knew a lot about Jason already, and besides, this wasn’t on track to be a “relationship.” If it was going to be anything, it would be strictly a rebound.
“Sure. Kids are awesome. I have a niece and two nephews, they’re pretty great, plus I work with kids a lot. I guess I just don’t plan ahead like that. When it’s time, I figure I’ll know.”
