Page 68 of All That We Never Were

“Leah, either you do it or I will.”

I looked up at him nervously.

“Yeah, sorry.” I opened it. And for the first time, I did so slowly, not wanting to ruin the paper, wanting to keep the drawing, the one I would store in my wallet for so long, looking at it until it was tattered. “They’re…concert tickets! I can’t believe it!” I jumped when I saw the logo of a band I had been following for months. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“What’s this I just heard? A concert?” My mother put the plates down on the table. “Where?”

“In Brisbane…” I whispered.

“And you think you’re going by yourself?”

“No, there’s two tickets, I’ll give one to Blair.”

“At what time?” she asked, worried.

“I’ll take them, Rose.” My father gave her a kiss on the cheek, and she calmed down right away, closing her eyes and nodding.

I smiled when Dad winked at me.

We sat down at the table. Daniel opened a bottle of wine and told us a story about something that had happened that morning at the café. My birthday dinner was calm but exciting. Emily and Justin put the twins down in my parents’ bed until it was time to go. They were dead tired after spending the evening running all over.

My mother brought out a cake and everyone sang “Happy Birthday” in chorus. She put it down in front of me, with that smile of hers so full of pride that made me feel so fortunate and loved.

And then I made the wish that I would remember for a long time. I wished for a kiss from Axel while I blew hard on the candles.

“The timer’s already running down,” my father said, putting his camera on the porch railing. “Quick! One, two, three, cheese!”

The flash clicked and the moment was immortalized.

But the one after was only recorded in my memory.

“So you’re going to go to the concert with your friend.” Axel licked his spoon after a bite of cake. “You’re not going out with that guy anymore?”

“What guy?” Daniel furrowed his brows.

“His name’s Kevin Jax, isn’t it, honey?”

“We’re not together anymore,” I said.

“The boy who cut the grass? What happened? Did he mess up and leave one blade of grass longer than the rest, and his parents grounded him?” Axel joked.

“Shut that mouth of yours,” Georgia said and took the bottle from him. “Don’t pay any attention to him; he’s had too much wine. You’re still young; you’ll meet someone better soon enough.”

“What she needs to do is study and forget about boyfriends,” Oliver added while getting up and helping my father with the dishes.

I hated everyone talking about me as if I were a little girl and they had a right to say what they wanted about my life.

In the background, I could hear the Beatles playing softly. I imagined the record spinning and spinning…

“Don’t pay any attention to your brother.” Axel’s eyes were gleaming. “What you need to do is have fun. Study too, sure. But the rest of the time, go out, meet boys, have se…” He bit his tongue. “Have fun with them, and don’t limit yourself or get tied down.”

“What’s wrong with being tied down?” Justin asked.

“Well, it’s like it sounds; you’re tied.”

Axel and Justin spent the next twenty minutes arguing, despite Georgia’s attempts to make peace. I looked at him under the light of the garlands on that summer night: the five o’clock shadow on his square jawline, and his hair, shaggier than usual, the tips of it almost brushing his ears.

When everyone left, I went up to my room, put on my pajamas, lay in bed, and looked at the envelope with the concert tickets Axel had given me. I slid my fingers over the drawing, imagined him at his desk composing it, his desk with all the junk all over it…

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