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I watched him run a hand through his hair, nervous.
“A year’s a long time,” I said.
“I can’t take her. I can’t.”
“What does that mean?”
Let’s be honest: I knew perfectly well what that “I can’t take her” implied, and my mouth went dry just then, because I knew I couldn’t say no, not to the two people I care most about in the world. My family. Not the one you’re born into—I had enough as far as that goes—but the family you choose.
“I know what I’m asking you for is a sacrifice.” It was. “But it’s the only solution. I can’t take her to Sydney now that she’s already started school, especially with her missing last year. I can’t pull her away from everything she knows right now; it would be too many changes. You’re all we have left. Leaving her alone isn’t an option. She’s got anxiety, nightmares; she’s not…she’s not right. I need Leah to be herself again before she goes off to college next year.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, following Oliver’s lead from a few minutes before and taking out the bottle of brandy. The shot warmed my throat.
“When are you leaving?” I asked.
“In a couple of weeks.”
“Jesus, Oliver.”
2
_________
Axel
I had just turned seven when my father got the pink slip and we moved to a bohemian town called Byron Bay. Before then, we’d always lived in Melbourne, on the third floor of an apartment block. When we got to our new home, it felt like a permanent vacation. In Byron Bay, you often saw people walking barefoot down the street or through the supermarket. The air was relaxed, without any real schedule, and I think I fell in love with each and every corner of it even before I’d opened the car door and struck the gruff-looking boy who would be my neighbor from then on.
Oliver had unkempt hair and baggy clothes and looked like a savage. Georgia, my mother, liked to tell that story over and over at family gatherings when she’d had one glass of wine too many. She’d say she nearly dragged him into our house to give him a bubble bath. Fortunately, the Joneses came out just when she was grabbing him by the sleeve. She let him go when she realized the root of the problem was right there in front of her. Mr. Jones, smiling in a poncho daubed with paint, stretched out his hand. And Mrs. Jones hugged her, leaving her frozen to the spot. My father, my brother, and I laughed when we saw the stupefied look on her face.
“I suppose you’re the new neighbors,” Oliver’s mother said.
“Yeah, we just got here,” my father replied.
Their talk stretched on a few minutes, but Oliver didn’t seem especially interested in welcoming us. His face was bored, and I watched him take a slingshot and a stone out of his pocket and aim at my brother, Justin. He hit him on the first try. I smiled because I knew we’d get along.
3
_________
Leah
The melody of “here comes the Sun” kept repeating in my mind, but there was no trace of sun in the black scratches across the paper. Just darkness and hard, straight lines. I noticed my heart pounding faster, stifling me, chaotic. Tachycardia. I balled up the paper, threw it aside, and lay on the bed, bringing a hand to my chest and trying to breathe…breathe…
4
_________
Axel
I got out of the car and climbed the stairs to my parents’ door. Punctuality wasn’t my thing, so I was the last to appear, same as every Sunday when our family met for lunch. My mother greeted me by running her hands through my hair and asking if I had that mole on my shoulder last week or if it was new. My father rolled his eyes when he heard her and hugged me before welcoming me into the living room. Once I was there, my nephews clung to my legs until Justin got them to leave me in peace with a promise of chocolate.
“Still bribing them?” I asked.
“It’s the only thing that works,” he responded, resigned.
The twins laughed softly and I had to struggle not to join them. They were devils. Two charming devils who spent the whole day shouting, “Uncle Axel, pick me up,” “Uncle Axel, put me down,” “Uncle Axel, buy me this,” “Uncle Axel, shoot,” and that kind of thing. They were the reason my older brother was going bald (though he would never admit to using hair-growth products) and Emily, the girl he started going out with in high school and ended up taking as his wife, had given up pants and skirts for leggings, and smiled whenever one of her little bundles of joy threw up on her or drew on her clothes with a marker.
I waved to Oliver and walked over to Leah, who was at the table, which was already set, staring at the pattern of vines around the edges of the dishes. She looked up at me when I sat down beside her. I gave her a friendly nudge with my elbow. She didn’t respond. Not the way she would have some time back, with a smile that took up her whole face and could light up a room. Before I could say anything, my father came over with a tray of stuffed chicken he left in the middle of the table. I looked around disconcerted until my mother handed me a bowl of sauteed vegetables. I smiled in gratitude.
