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“You heard me. I had pants on when I got here, and that’s what I want to wear.”
“Pants are not appropriate for a princess.”
“Queen,” I correct him. “And I’ll wear pants, or I’ll go naked. Your choice.” I cross my arms, and he straightens.
“You will not.”
“I assure you, Brother, there is very little I won’t do to make my point.”
He shakes his head. “When the hell are you going to grow up?”
“I am growing up. You just don’t like that I’m not falling in line. I agreed to marry Patrick. I did not agree to be treated the way I was before Navalis fell. So either get me some damned pants, or be prepared to close your eyes every time I walk into a room. Frankly, I don’t care which you choose.” I turn on my heel and march back out, a grin on my face because I know, without a doubt, he’s going to cave.
That is until I see Fort standing across from me. His piercing gaze kills my smile because all I want to do is run to him. To wrap my arms around him and have him tell me everything is going to be fine.
But doing that breaks the rules Bowman set out for me.
So, like so many times before, Fort offers me a slight nod and leaves wordlessly.
It’s like a dagger to my heart, but I don’t let it show. Instead, I make my way toward where Shadow grazes on some grass. As soon as I reach him, he bows down to allow me to climb on.
“Take me up,” I tell him. “I need to breathe.”
Shadow pushes off the ground, and we soar off into the sky, wind whipping at my hair and the skirts of my dress. Up here, I take my first uninhibited breath even though my momentary freedom is little more than an illusion.
Just as it always has been.
* * *
By the time I return, freshly folded trousers and a white tunic have been placed on my cot. I smile because, although small, it’s a victory. Some minor control I was able to enact over my world. Dressing quickly, I also tug on the riding boots and leather corset left for me.
It surprises me how uncomfortable I am in dresses now when, before, it had been pants that seemed so strange. But the range of movement I have in these clothes beats out the beauty of a gown until the moment I no longer have to fight for my survival.
Dusk has begun to set in, casting the world around me in a soft glow. Someone has already lit the fire in the center of my tent, and I stare up at the tendrils of smoke as they disappear out of the top of my tent.
The ride with Shadow did wonders for my mind, giving me a chance to really think of the predicament I find myself in. It’s entirely possible that Patrick believes me to be dead and has already married. Or that he will offer us aid without my hand.
And if either of those two things happens, I’ll be able to move forward the way I choose, without risking the realm to do so. Even though luck hasn’t exactly been on my side recently, I will focus on those two possibilities as though my mere thinking them will bring them to fruition.
After sheathing my sword, I step out into the camp and make my way toward the dining tent. I’m just reaching the end of the aisle when Lacrae steps into my path. “I would like a word, Carleah.”
“I’m sure you would. But I have nothing to say to you.”
“Please.”
I stop then turn to face him. “You have seconds before I move on. What do you want?”
“I will do as you asked and go to the elves. If I can convince them to come to our aid, that mere show of force may be enough to get Soreno to offer us their army without your having to marry the future king.”
His words bring me a fresh wave of hope with the new possibility. “Why would you do that?”
He moves in closer, and the moonlight dances off of his pale hair. “I know you don’t believe me, Carleah, but I truly do care for you. I know you love Fort. I’ve seen what you two share, and the last thing I want to see is you set aside love for duty. It’s a pain I know all too well.” Emotion flickers in his golden gaze.
“Alysia.”
“It’s a story I do not wish to expand on, but I truly do want your happiness just as I want the security of the realm.”
“Then why not stick up for me with Bowman?”
