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One month later…
* * *
“Will wonders never cease.”
I glanced up from the trainee files I was reviewing to find Gabe standing in the doorway with something in his hands. “What's the problem?”
He shrugged. “No problem. I'm just so confused that you're domesticated. Look at you. You haven't murdered anyone in weeks. You must be losing your touch.”
“Well, obviously your powers of observation need work. The new recruit, Reynolds. Pretty sure you haven't seen him in a week. He might be shoved in a wardrobe somewhere.”
“I know you’re aware of how to dispose of a body better than that.”
I chuckled. “True. What's up? What do you need?” Gabe and Saffron had temporarily allowed me to lay low at Rogues, utilizing my skillset to assist with some of the trainees while we waited to see whether or not MI5 cleared me to come back to work.
With Massimo gone, his father behind bars, and the Ledger in the possession of Rogues, the Syndicate was imploding. Some members had tried to join to create smaller factions of their own, but Home Office had been swift. Those on British soil were now awaiting trial. The ones abroad were running for their lives, convinced that spies were coming to get them.
Gabe had a file in his hands. “We have word from Home Office.”
My heart squeezed. This was the decision I was waiting for. The return to normalcy. I was grateful to Saffron and Gabe for allowing me to have a routine of some sort for the past few weeks. Otherwise, I would have torn out my hair thinking about Daphne.
Every night when I went home, Reginald made a point of telling me how badly I'd screwed up everything.
It was like I was a kid again, or like living with your father after years of being away. He was always on me about making my bed, tidying up more, and fucking calling Daphne.
It was bad enough that every night I went to bed excited to see her in my dreams. And every morning I wanted to slash out my own heart when I woke up without her. And that was if I slept at all.
That aching need in the center of my chest refused to go away. Matter of fact, it was spreading, metastasizing, taking on a life of its own. Determined to remind me I was a fool.
“Don't keep me in suspense. Give it to me straight.”
Gabe handed over the envelope. I took it, and as I started to open it, he pulled another envelope out of his back pocket. I lifted a brow, but he waited for me to open the first one.
On printed Rogues letterhead, I found a letter from Saffron, officially offering me a position with the Rogues. Level 5 agent, code name, Villain.
I glanced up at him, surprised. “You're offering me a permanent spot?”
“Yes. We've had a very active year, obviously. We need good agents. And with Saffron running things now, we need more help with the trainees.”
“I'm not a teacher, Gabe.”
“I'm not sure about that. But it's a fresh start. And stability.”
I could see what he was doing. “Did Reginald put you up to this?”
“He's worried about you. Why don't you just call her?”
“And say what? That I fucked up? I should have trusted you to make up your own mind? I'm sorry I tried to control you like your mother did? I'm sorry I lied to you and told you that we were nothing?”
Gabe winced at that. “Damn, and I thought I was an arsehole.”
“You know how competitive I am. Biggest arsehole award goes to me. I needed to make it stick. I needed to make her hate me. She's never coming back.”
Gabe folded his arms and rocked back and forth from his heels to his toes and back again. “Mate, I know you think that you need to honor your father and your uncle and the sacrifices they made. But they did that so you could make better choices than they did.”
“MI5 is all I've ever known.”
“And now there's a chance to know more. Do more. No one wants to take you out of the field. But if you want it, you have a place here at Rogues.” He laid down the other letter. The one from Home Office. As he strode out of the room, I stared at the envelope on the desk. My heart thrummed in my chest. I tried to force my breathing to even out, to take deep breaths and let the tension roll off my shoulders. All the things that I had been trying in stupid fucking yoga. None of that shit worked.
