AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"It doesn't matter when," I reply. "If I was Danny or Tommy, you wouldn't have a problem with it. You bought them condoms, let them have girls alone in their rooms. With the door closed! How many times did you let Nora spend the night?"
"They're not my children," Mom harshly replies. "I love them dearly. You know how much I do, but you are my blood, Jenny. You. I want what's best for you. And I can tell you right now it's not Kyle. You think he's going to stop sleeping around for you? He's going to give up all those pretty college girls for some inexperienced girl next door. Don't be so naïve."
"That's not fair," I manage to squeak out before more tears trickle down my cheeks.
Mom throws an exasperated hand in the air. "You shouldn't have slept with him. I...I don't even know what to think right now. I'm so disappointed in you."
"Why are you against this?" I tremble from the chilly night, the cold look on Mom's face, the icy shiver that runs down the length of my spine.
She rubs her temples, closes her eyes for a moment. "Your first time should have been with someone you love. It should have been special, meaningful. I didn't raise you to give that up to the first guy who showed some interest in you."
"How can you say that?" I’m absolutely gutted.
"You're going to end up lonely and heartbroken," Mom continues her verbal assault. "Or worse, pregnant like Audra."
"No, I'm not," I tell her before pushing off the wall, fighting back more tears. "Kyle would never do that to me."
I don't give her a chance to respond before I head inside the restaurant, leaving Mom and her hostility behind.
—
I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, use a wet paper towel to remove the stained mascara on my face. I hiccup, try to swallow, but my mouth feels hot and dry from crying in the bathroom stall for the last ten minutes.
Betrayed.
I feel so betrayed.
By my own mother.
I just...I can't believe her. I can't believe she would say so many horrible things.
About Kyle.
About me.
She thinks I'm going to end up heartbroken. And lonely. Hate to break it to her, but it wasn't Kyle who hurt me.
It was Matt.
Maybe she's forgotten, but I haven't.
And anyway, I thought she was supposed to be the cool mom? The one that pushes me to try new things? Trusts me to make the right decisions for myself? Gives me space and time and room to learn from my mistakes? Figure out what I really want.
No, she's not the cool mom. She's the hypocritical, controlling, barbaric Mom. All this time she's been masquerading as someone who's kind and understanding when, in reality, she's cruel and condescending.
How could she be so callous towards Kyle? Assume he's just sleeping around with...what did she call them? All thosepretty college girls. I mean, I guess he could be.
It's just...my gut feeling keeps telling me that's not true. That the same guy who stood in the dark street and told me I was beautiful isn't the same guy who was letting that Sunny chick maul him to death in her apartment. There has to be a reasonable explanation. Something that explains it all.
Can he be both? Can he spend years watching me pine over Matt while secretly liking me, not able to do anything about it, taking out his...uh, frustrations with other girls?
I don't know.
I'm tired.
I'm just so tired.
Tired of the pitiful looks on everyone's faces. Especially when Matt's around. Because he didn't want me and, when he finally did, it didn't work out because he couldn't figure out how to use a freaking condom. Like it's hard or something.
