AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
When I reach the Thompson's front porch, I run my trembling fingers through my hair before ringing the doorbell.
It feels like a lifetime as I wait, impatiently tapping my foot, heart still beating wildly in my chest. My palms start to dampen, and I worry that I'm in over my head. I don't know what I'm doing. What if that's a huge turnoff? What if Kyle only likes experienced girls who know how to do this kind of stuff? The only stuff I've ever done is sloppily kiss Matt and let him touch my boobs.
What if I'm bad at kissing?
Oh my god.
If Kyle doesn't answer the stupid door soon, I might talk myself out of this.
Because I don't know if I can do this.
But I want to do this.
Need to do this.
For me.
For the broken heart in my chest, heavy and achy, that only seems to feel better when Kyle's around. When he's distracting me from the pain. When he's insulting me. Helping me. Touching me.
The door finally creaks open after the longest minute and a half of my life. He stands there, cup of coffee in hand, wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants hanging loosely on his hips.
I bite my lip as my eyes roam over his naked torso, see the faint outline of abs, the golden skin that disappears into the waistband of his sweatpants. There's not an ounce of hair on his tanned, gorgeous body.
Holy crap.
He's actually really sexy. Why have I never noticed before?
"Matt's not here," he finally says.
I tear my eyes away from his toned stomach, meet his murky, muddled gaze. By the way his eyebrows raise, I can tell he's pleased by my appearance. Especially when his pupils blow out the second his eyes land on the low-cut top I wore just for him, his bronze eyes now a ruinous shade of black.
My heart flips in my chest as he inhales sharply, lifts his eyes to meet mine.
I'm here for sex. Nothing else.
Sex. Sex. Sex.
I'm not attracted to him. I don't have any weird emotions swirling in my chest right now. Well, at least none that I'm willing to admit to.
"I'm not here to see Matt," I swallow hard, working up the nerve to tell him why I'm standing in his doorway. "I'm here to see you."
He cocks his dark head to the side. "You spent all morning with me. You're not tired of me yet?"
I did spend all morning with him, but he didn't flirt with me, didn't touch me, didn't initiate conversation. He was too busy texting on his phone or making phone calls about some rental space he was interested in. I wasn't really paying attention. I was too busy trying to come up with a good excuse to show up and convince him to give me what I want.
Which is sex.
Just sex.
I shake my head slightly, lift the envelope to show him. "This came today."
Kyle takes it from me, eyes it wearily. "And you wanted to open it with...me?"
"Yeah," I shrug, suddenly feeling unsure of myself. I didn't expect him to react like... this. In total disbelief that I'm standing here, in front of him.
Normally, he's the one seeking me out. Showing up at our house uninvited. Using any excuse to insult me, annoy me, aggravate me. Texting me. Not always, but every once in a while, he'll send me a snarky text from Boulder, reminding me how much he pisses me off. Like the one a few weeks ago that read, "Just saw a girl step in dog shit. Reminded me of you." I replied with several middle finger emojis.
