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Mom stands, follows suit. Then Dad. Then Randy. Diane keeps her focus on the food she's still shoveling into her mouth.
I stand slowly, take a deep breath.
Audra's admiring the ring by the time my feet carry me over to them. I don't look at Matt as I wrap my arms around his shoulders, whisper a forced congratulations into his ear. I start to pull away from him, but I feel his arms tighten around my midsection for a split second before he releases me, steps aside to let me congratulate Audra.
She doesn't meet my eyes at first. And I know. I know what she's thinking. She thinks I'm disappointed in her, thinks she's settled for a guy who won't ever truly love her the way she deserves.
Maybe it's true. But maybe it's something they can also grow into.
I honestly don't know.
I think back to what Dad said about sharing friends, being happy for them, letting them have experiences with other people. I don't know if I fully agree with him, but I plaster the biggest smile I can muster on my face and kneel in front of her.
"Show me the ring," I say to her.
Audra looks relieved, grateful, less anxious as she sticks her hand out to me. It's white gold. The center diamond is the same size as the two sapphires flanking it on either side.
"It's stunning," I honestly tell her. "I'm really happy for you."
She nods at me, her bottom lip quivers for a moment before she gives me a tight smile. I don't miss the way she looks at me, like she doesn't know if she made the right choice.
I don't know if she did either.
I find my way back to my seat, see the look of apprehension on Kyle's face. I lean over, lightly ghost his lips with mine. He relaxes and reaches for my hand.
I hate that he's worried about this. About what this means for us. Because it doesn't mean anything. It means his brother may or may not be getting married in the near future.
That's all.
My lips graze the shell of Kyle's ear. "My diamond better be bigger than hers when the time comes."
I pull back, try not to smile, but can't resist the laughter that spills out of me as I look at his surprised expression.
The corner of his lips turn up into a lopsided grin. "What makes you think I don't already have it?"
I shake my head. "Because you just spent a fortune on the prestigious motor vehicle in the driveway."
"Whatever you say, Jenny," he winks at me before grabbing the glass of water in front of him and uses it to hide his smirk.
Once everyone settles down, Mom graciously raises a glass. "To Matt and Audra."
In unison, we reply, "To Matt and Audra," while clinking our glasses together.
Diane looks up from her plate. "What'd I miss?"
We all laugh, but there's a resigned sadness that passes overhead. Like storm clouds blowing in over the mountain, obscuring the brilliant sunset-painted sky.
Her worsening symptoms mean she doesn't have much time left.
Time seems to be the only thing on everyone's mind right now.
—
"Jenny Marie Kearns!" I hear Mom yell from downstairs just as my eyes are closing.
I hear Kyle shuffle around, grab the remote before pausing whatever documentary he was watching.
Reluctantly, I untangle my limbs from his, slip on the pair of leggings I peeled off before climbing into bed with him, and open my bedroom door.
