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I grinned at her sheepishly and shrugged my shoulders. But it had made Wolfie laugh, and he was in much better spirits as we worked our way through the store and to the checkout.
Once at the checkout, Wolfie proceeded to charm the cashier, and I took advantage of that moment to grab Reagan's hand to catch her attention. "Hey, thank you for that back there," I told her in all seriousness.
We shared a long look that quickly turned heated, and she tore her eyes away, shaking her head. "I didn't say anything that wasn't true. He's going to do great tomorrow. All the same, maybe we should have something special planned for him after school tomorrow."
Her use of the word “we” would have normally freaked me out, but somehow, it buoyed me knowing that she would not only be there for Wolfie, but that she would be around, period. It was not something I’d ever welcomed before. I hadn’t been in a serious relationship since I was in my twenties, and relationships had crashed and burned. I’d had a knack for choosing women who would inevitably become enthralled with the family lore and, what’s more, the family money. My lifestyle of work, watching sports, and playing hockey did not appeal to them in the slightest. They wanted me to make amends with my family, so they could get an invite to the Rollins family dinner parties and soirees.
Strangely, I wondered what Reagan would make of my family. She was always so no-nonsense and practical. Still, I’d thought that about others, and they’d still managed to be taken in by my family’s opulent lifestyle.
I hadn’t realized I was still holding on to Reagan’s hand, it felt so natural. But she looked down pointedly, her face coloring furiously, and I reluctantly pulled my hand away.
“Right, what did you have in mind—a parade or something?” I asked, nervously clearing my throat as I whipped out my card to pay.
She looked thoughtful, and when I saw her eyes light up, it caused a stirring in my chest that made me fidget like I was some sort of nervous teenager. It was bad enough that I could barely keep my hands to myself with thoughts of her. Now, she caused butterflies in a forty-year-old man.
“Not quite—I need to do some investigating first, but I’ll send you some ideas later tonight,” she said, turning her attention back to Wolfie. I couldn’t help but notice the way her eyes dropped briefly to my mouth before she turned to Wolfie.
I swallowed hard around the rising tide of desire threatening to consume me. It wasn’t just a physical desire. It was an avalanche of feelings that I was wholly unaccustomed to. I wanted Reagan. I wanted this little family picture that she and Wolfie presented. I wanted this togetherness and harmony—all things I never thought possible, period, much less for me.
Suddenly, my mind harkened back to a memory of a warning conversation I’d had with Brian not long after he’d introduced Reagan to me as his girlfriend.
“I don’t know, man, I think you need to be careful around this one—she’s dangerous.”
I hadn’t known at the time just what kind of danger exactly I thought she presented, and Brian had laughed at me, but standing there in the market check-out line watching her tease and talk to Wolfie, it became abundantly clear. Reagan, along with Wolfie were all sorts of dangerous because they caused stirrings of love—an emotion I’d soundly taken off the table for myself…unless I was talking about my favorite hockey team, of course.
***
"What is this?" Reagan asked, yanking out packages of cookies and chips that Wolfie and I had snuck into the cart when she wasn't looking.
Wolfie and I exchanged sheepish expressions. "Those are just a few house staples, it's no big deal," I defended.
She eyed both of us carefully like we were in serious trouble, but I could see the playful twinkle in her eyes. "I was thinking more fruits and veggies."
"But, Aunt Rea, aren't chips made out of potatoes? That's a vegetable," Wolfie piped up.
"Look at that. My man," I said to Wolfie, giving him a high five.
Wolfie laughed, and Reagan rolled her eyes, but she was smiling at the two of us. "You got me there, Wolf-Man, but I am determined to prove to you that healthy food can be tasty, too," she told him.
Wolfie looked doubtful, but he was excited when Reagan asked him if he would help her prepare dinner.
I finished putting up the groceries, watching the two of them out of the corner of my eye carefully as they put their heads together while they brainstormed dinner.
"What? You two sharing secrets over there?" I asked as I sidled up next to him at the kitchen counter.
"No, we're just saying what we're going to put on our homemade pizza," Wolfie said with a smile.
"Homemade pizza? Is it wise to mess with something that's not broken?" I asked, eyeing Reagan with a challenging gaze.
She just shook her head at me as Wolfgang told me happily, "But we can put whatever we want on this pizza, Uncle Adam. Aunt Reagan said I could even pick out what veggies go on there."
I put my hands on my hips and asked him with a serious expression. "Now, why would you watch your precious gummy bears to perish on a pizza?"
He gave a little kid cackle and rubbed his hands together. "It's all a part of my experiment, Uncle Adam," he said, with a slightly raised voice, getting excited. I heard Reagan's soft laughter behind him, and my heart did that thing again. I was starting to feel like the Grinch, with my heart growing visibly.
I should back away. I should put some space between myself and this child, and especially between myself and Reagan.
But even as those thoughts screamed through my head, I moved closer to the two people who I was starting to understand could truly wreck me.
