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I nod, and the grim reality dawns on her. Acaria would most likely not survive the onslaught of unredeemable souls caged up for centuries wreaking havoc on the land and its people. The gods might be able to battle them back, but without a Shadow Realm to battle them back to, what could they really do besides protect themselves?
And that’s to say nothing of the ancient beings hidden away in the bowels of the realm, locked in their caves, their powers bound and chained. Those beings are eager for vengeance on the very gods who put them there.
The problem is, I no longer care about any of it as long as I can keep Elora safe. If the book is lost to me, if there’s no way to fix the realm, I need to get her far enough away from here that no harm will come to her. And I think I can. If only she would let me get close enough to do it.
“Let me ensure your safety.” I take one step closer and another, emboldened by the fact that she is no longer shrinking away from me. “I can get you far away from Acaria. You’ll live a happy life without me.”
“My life would never be happy without you.”
Closing the distance between us with long strides, I wrap her in my arms and claim her mouth. Her hands fist in the fabric of my tunic at the small of my back, and her tongue darts out to drag along my lower lip before she bites it hard, tugging it away from my teeth and letting it slip through.
“I hate you,” she says, voice low, breaths ragged. “I hate you for making me feel things I thought I was content to never feel again. I hate you for making me want.”
She draws in a shaky breath. “I love you. And I hate that too.”
Cupping her face in my hands, I run my thumb over her lips.
“Why?”
“Because love has never been kind to me.” I press my forehead to hers, and she squeezes me tight. “Come with me,” she says.
“I can’t.” She tries to pull back, but I tighten my arms around her. “I have to stay and try to hold the realm.”
“But what if you can’t? Will you come to me?”
“No.”
She wriggles out of my grasp and looks up at me, eyes searching mine. “What happens to you if the realm falls?”
“It doesn’t matter, as long as you’re safe.”
“It matters to me.”
I reach for her, but she shakes her head, and I drop my arm to my side, staring over her shoulder at the veil. It’s a stark reminder that I’ve failed not only Elora in this, but my duty to the Shadow Realm as well.
“Years ago, at the first sign of weakness, I bound my power to the realm. I thought the blood ritual we used to create it was weakening, so I used my power to fortify it.”
“What does that mean?” Her voice is thin, as if she already knows the answer to her question.
“It means I am as much a part of the Shadow Realm as it is a part of me. If it falls, I fall with it.”
Elora leaps forward, grabbing the edges of my robes and tugging until our bodies are pressed together. I feel the impossibly fast beat of her heart against mine.
“You’re a god. Gods can’t die.”
“I wouldn’t die.” I cover her hands with mine and give them a gentle squeeze. “I would cease to exist.”
“You have to unbind them, then. Release yourself from the Shadow Realm.”
“I can’t.”
Tears well in her eyes until one slips down her cheek, carving a path through the fine dust coating her skin from her ride across the realm. She squeezes them shut, and I catch the next tear with the pad of my thumb.
“I’m sorry, Thieran.”
I don’t understand her apology; I’m the one who should be apologizing, but she shoves onto her toes and fuses her mouth to mine before I can speak. I drink from her in greedy gulps, eager to get as much of her as I can before I send her away to keep her safe.
When I nip her bottom lip in a rough bite, she pulls away from me with a gasp. Then she shoves at my chest with enough force that I stumble back a few steps. Her eyes meet mine and the smile she gives me is sad, and I’m so mesmerized by her gaze that I don’t realize what she’s doing until it’s too late.
