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Paige tried not to frown. Was she just saying that to be nice? Paige couldn’t quite get a read on things, so she played along.
“Yeah, me too. I’m pretty tired though,” she said, pretending to yawn. “I’m probably gonna head to sleep now. Don’t worry about making noise.”
Olivia’s expression twinged, but she nodded. “Alright. Sleep well.”
Paige climbed into bed after changing out of her dress and washing her face, feeling completely drained. Everything had been going perfect until that kiss. Now Paige didn’t know what to think, what to feel. Olivia didn’t seem like she wanted to talk about it, and neither did Paige. What was she even supposed to say?
She switched off the lamp and closed her eyes, but despite her exhaustion, her mind was wide awake. How was she supposed to sleep with Olivia only inches away? Was she supposed to ignore her, act like being so close to her didn’t make her feel things. Things she wasn’t supposed to feel about her best friend?
Olivia climbed into bed beside her, and Paige tried to drown out the memory of their kiss on the sand, the touch of Olivia’s fingertips against her skin, the taste of strawberry on her lips.
Somehow, eventually, she managed to fall into a cold, dreamless sleep.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Paige was awake before dawn the next morning.
Olivia was still asleep, snoring quietly beneath the covers, so Paige slipped out of bed and padded barefoot into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She flipped on the light and winced at her reflection in the cabinet mirror. Her eyes were rimmed with dark circles, and her cheeks were colourless, telling her she probably hadn’t slept as well as she’d thought. She splashed some ice-cold water over her face to coax some colour back into her cheeks and tried to comb out some of the tangles in her hair. She wanted to shower, but she didn’t want to wake Olivia, so it would suffice for now.
After changing into a pair of shorts and a white hoodie, she stepped out of the bedroom without a noise. Dawn had yet to break, and the air inside the cottage was very still. She wasn’t normally such an early riser, but she needed some time alone to think and clear her head before Olivia woke up.
Grabbing one of the croissants Olivia had left out on the counter, she pulled on her shoes and headed out into the breezy morning, munching on her breakfast.
The beach was empty. Clumps of dark seaweed had washed up in the night, strewn across the sand and making the air smell briny. The sea looked grey and glistening beneath the hazy sky, and Paige gazed at it between the strands of dark hair whipping around her face as she climbed down onto the sand.
She walked along the shore until she reached the pier. The boats docked in the water bumped against each rising wave, their sails rustling and fluttering in the wind. Paige took off her shoes and sat down on the edge of the dock, dipping her toes into the cold water. She recoiled at the first touch, hissing sharply between her teeth, but lowered her feet back into the sea until they adjusted to the temperature, swishing them through the water and creating little ripples that broke the surface with a pop.
She couldn’t get the kiss out of her head. Or the way Olivia had gone quiet afterwards, like she wasn’t sure what to think of it. Paige couldn’t even remember if she was the one who had kissed Olivia first, or if it had just sort of happened, in the way that these things did.
This wasn’t the way she wanted the holiday to end. This strange silence between them, like neither of them no longer knew how to talk to the other. This was why she had kept her feelings to herself this whole time—so that she wouldn’t ruin what they already did have between them.
At least now she knew that her feelings were one-sided. Olivia didn’t like her that way. This wasn’t an Avery Cole novel after all, but real life. And romance was as fickle and unpredictable as the tides.
Paige was almost lost completely in her thoughts when she felt the dock dip behind her, a soft whisper of footsteps against the wood.
“You’re up early.”
Paige didn’t lift her head, but she felt Olivia sit down beside her, her hip pressing close.
“Yeah,” she murmured. “I thought it would be nice to see the sunrise.”
“Without me?” Paige didn’t miss the shimmer of hurt in her voice.
“I… didn’t want to disturb you,” Paige said. She really couldn’t do anything right, could she? She looked down at the water, lapping the edge of the dock. Maybe this was one of the consequences of growing up without a stable parental relationship. She didn’t know how relationships worked. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do, what she was supposed to say.
The only thing she seemed sure of was that the kiss she’d shared with Olivia had been everything she’d wanted, and everything she knew she shouldn’t.
She wasn’t made for relationships. And now she’d hurt their friendship too. How was Olivia ever supposed to look at her the same again?
“Paige,” Olivia said, and there was something so soft and intimate about the way she’d said her name that Paige had to look up, her eyes finding Olivia’s. “Talk to me.”
“I… don’t know how,” Paige admitted, looking away, the water feeling cold on her skin again.
“Is this because of last night?” Olivia asked.
Paige nodded, even though she didn’t feel like talking about it. What was she supposed to say? That she’d been thinking about kissing her this entire vacation, and now that they had, she didn’t know what to do about it?
“It was just a kiss.”
