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Agatha gathered her TV tray and stood as well. Thomas moved away from her an inch, and she offered him a sad smile. “You’re far too old for me to tell you what to do, and even if you were still a teenager, I don’t think anything I could have said would be enough to sway you in one direction over the other. I value my own freedom too much to force you to lose what you have. If you don’t want to talk about it, then don’t.”
She moved past him, hating how it felt like the end of an era. This was the natural way of things. She should have just been thrilled their closeness lasted this long. At least soon, he’d move back home until the day came when he found some girl who would make him happy.
“Mom?”
She stopped and faced him.
“I did want to talk to you about something.”
Hope flared to life within her. Their relationship was so disjointed. Here was a chance for her to heal whatever rift had been torn between them.
“I don’t think I’m going to move back in with you.”
Agatha nearly dropped the TV dinner she held. “What?”
He forced a smile, but it looked more sad than anything else. “I’m an adult. I’ve lived at home long enough. And I’ve realized I like being on my own. It’s nice to be in the wrangler’s bunkhouse while I’m working.”
“So you’re not moving back here… but this place is your home.”
Thomas shook his head. “It’s your home, Mom. You bought this place when I got the job. You moved out here to stay close to me when you could have stayed in the city. It’s like you upended your life just because I made some small changes in mine. I don’t want you to base your whole life and your decisions on me.”
What was that supposed to mean? Was he actually accusing her of making decisions based solely on his career choices? “That’s not true, Thomas. Yes, I moved out here to be closer to you, but I didn’t have to. I thought you wanted me to.”
He sighed and his gaze dipped to the floor. “Sometimes I wonder if things would be better if you had decided to stay where you were. It’s hard for a bird to leave the nest when his mother keeps bringing it to him.”
She officially felt sick to her stomach. Thomas felt smothered. No, he hadn’t said it in so many words, but that was exactly how he felt, and she could see it as clearly as the nose on his face. He wanted to put some distance between them.
Agatha swallowed hard and nodded again. “I understand,” she rasped. “You need room to spread your wings and I haven’t really let you have that. I’ll try to be more mindful of that.” She couldn’t bear to hear his response. She had to get out of that living room before he said something that really made her want to bawl her eyes out.
The TV dinner was tossed into the garbage, and she hurried toward the stairs. Her breathing came in short puffs. As many times as she’d told Zeke that she wanted independence, she had to admit one very real fact.
She hadn’t been truly alone her entire life. First, she was with her family. Then her ex-husband. Then Thomas. Living in the cabin had been her first real experience of being on her own, and even then, she wasn’t; Zeke had been nearby.
Her heart fluttered madly. What if it was all talk? What if she couldn’t handle being alone any more than Zeke could handle keeping his controlling opinions out of anyone else’s business?
The fluttering grew harder and more erratic, so much so that she had to clutch at her chest and focus on her breathing. She’d be fine. She was just tired. Everything would work out the way it was meant to and she’d get back to work just like she knew she could.
Only now, she wasn’t so sure.
25
Zeke
Zeke glared into his coffee. Thankfully none of his daughters were in the house this morning when he got up. He should have been happily moved into the cabin again, but even that place felt lonely as could be.
He just couldn’t win.
Ever since his daughters started pairing up with their men, Zeke had felt at odds with himself. Nothing felt right anymore. He couldn’t escape into his work because several of his family worked for him. He couldn’t hide away at home due to how quiet it had become. And now he couldn’t stand the kind of quiet that was taking place at the cabin.
In hindsight, Zeke had probably gone a little overboard in trying to keep Agatha safe—safe from herself, from her son, and from outside forces that could harm her. And all of that work was for nothing.
She couldn’t appreciate what he’d done for her, and if that was the case, then he didn’t need to be part of her life.
So why did he feel so absolutely desolate now?
She was just his neighbor. Perhaps in a different lifetime, she could be something else—something more.
“That coffee of yours must contain the secrets to the universe… or something similar.”
