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“Because I want you to be happy,” I said. “And sometimes when we know terrible things it’s like carrying around a heavy weight that never goes away. I don’t want that for you, Marco.”
His eyes were intelligent, soaking in my every move. I knew he understood more than he was letting on. Perhaps he thought he was protecting me. Finally he sighed and leaned back against his pillow.
“Dad knows terrible things,” he said.
“Yes,” I said quietly. “He does.”
“I…what?”
We both turned to see Lucien standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. His eyes were a little softer than usual. Marco looked uncomfortable, but opened his mouth to answer.
“Nothing,” I said quickly. “We were just saying we would miss you.”
Lucien crossed the room, his bare feet quiet on the floor. His hands slid down my shoulders and gripped me gently as he looked down at his son.
“I’ll be back, son,” he said. “I swear it.”
Marco sent him a long stare. “How do you know?”
“When have I not returned before?”
“Never.”
“I’ll be back when my work is done,” he said. “Now, let’s go to bed.”
We both kissed Marco goodnight and left him laying on his back with his eyes wide open. Gazing out his open window to the wide ocean below.
In the bedroom, Lucien changed into his sweatpants while I sat at my vanity to tie back my hair and remove my jewelry. This was our last night together. In the morning, Viktor would arrive with his boat to take my husband away.
My stomach was a knot of ice. My throat had a constant lump in it and when I thought too much about it, my eyes filled with tears. My emotions were completely out of control and they had been for days. One minute I felt fine and the next I was running upstairs so the boys wouldn’t see me burst into tears.
“Come here, Liv,” he said.
I turned. He stood in the window with a square box in his grip. I ran a quick hand over my cheeks and obeyed, drawing near. His eyes softened in the moonlight as he brushed my hair back and tucked it behind my ears.
“This is for you,” he said.
I couldn’t speak so I just sank into the windowseat and opened the box. Inside was a glass lamp and a bottle of oil. I frowned.
“What is this?” I asked.
He sank to his knees, reminding me of the first time he’d ever apologized to me. On his knees, at my feet. He picked up the lamp and ran his thumb over the glass patterns on the base.
“I don’t know when I’ll return, Liv,” he said, his voice husky. “Set this in our window and light it every night for me so I can find my way back to you.”
“Oh,” I whispered, shattered. “Lucien.”
“I can see your window when I come in from the mainland,” he said. “If you keep this lit, I’ll see it from the horizon when I return.”
He pushed his head into my lap, his fingers curling in my skirt. I bent, pressing my lips to his hair. We stayed like this for a long time before he shifted. I kissed his forehead gently and the corner of his mouth twitched.
“I’m not good at being open,” he said.
I laughed, sniffing. “Yeah, I know.”
Was that a ghost of a smile on his face? If it was, it was so beautiful.
“I love you, wife,” he said. “I feel like I’m being ripped in half leaving you.”
