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“It would,” she agreed.
“What are the risks of doing that?” I wondered aloud.
When Gretchen spoke, her voice was as cool and light as a snowflake.
“I think, Merrick, that the odds that you hurt her are very high,” she said. “She loves you, maybe not romantically yet, and she trusts you with everything she has. You taught her how to value herself. Getting her heart broken by the only man she’s ever trusted will ruin her completely.”
I drove myself home, knuckles white on the steering wheel.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CLARA
I didn’t know what I expected to happen, but it wasn’t for things to just go back to normal. The day after I’d begged Merrick to take the little pink card from his wallet and use it, I woke to find him acting like nothing had changed.
We had dinner together with a few of his friends, including Gretchen Hughes who I didn’t know well. It made me a little jealous, seeing him surrounded by beautiful, successful people, although I wasn’t sure why.
It wasn’t like Merrick was mine.
He drove us home and said goodnight, leaving me standing in the hall. Completely confused.
His refusal to acknowledge what had happened hurt. Enough to keep me in my room, curled up. Miserable and hiding under the covers.
Over the next few weeks, I let Osian take me on a few dates. We had gone out a total of six times when he asked me to sleep with him.
Miserably, I said yes. Not because I wanted to, but because I was too nervous to refuse him.
He took me back to his apartment. It was luxurious, deep in the heart of downtown Providence. My heart hammered in my chest while we had dinner and a glass of wine.
My palm was slippery as he led me back to the bedroom.
It was a clinical space, like he never spent any time there so he hadn’t bothered to furnish it. The bed was white, the walls gray, and the floor bare. The complete opposite of Merrick’s house.
He shut the bedroom door and pulled me close, brushing back my hair. His mouth skimmed down my neck. My stomach fluttered as he turned me around and unzipped my dress.
The kiss he pressed in the middle of my back felt lifeless.
Nothing in comparison to Merrick’s mouth.
I tried to get into what he was doing, but my body felt cold and heavy. He pulled his shirt off and I traced his stomach, wondering why the sight of it did nothing for me.
His fingers skimmed down my lower belly and slipped beneath my cotton panties. My hips tensed and my thighs locked together. Blocking him.
Nope, no, this was not going to work tonight.
“Please,” I whispered. “Sorry, I don’t know about this.”
He was very close and I caught the flicker of irritation in his eyes. His hand closed and pulled back. Relief flooded me. There was always a little doubt that he would stop when I asked in the back of my mind.
“What is it?” he said quietly.
I sensed his impatience in the ridge of his dick under his boxers. Wriggling my hips, I pulled away just enough so we weren’t touching.
“I’m not ready,” I said. “You haven’t even given me my first piece of jewelry.”
He sighed, rolling over and sitting up. I turned to look at his naked back.
“I submitted it to Merrick for approval,” he said.
