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CLARA
The drive to the airport and the plane ride home the next morning were agonizing. Merrick looked rough, his hair tousled and his face unshaven. I’d never seen him like this. It was a little scary.
He settled into the seat opposite me and flipped his laptop open. His sunglasses were reflective, hiding his eyes completely. I couldn’t tell what he was feeling and I wasn’t about to ask.
I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t think of a single thing. So I sat there in silence, my body coiled up in the seat. After a while, he put his laptop away and shifted, spreading his knees.
I glanced up, wondering if he would speak. Instead, he leaned back in his seat and turned his head to the window.
Dead silence reigned until we got back to the house.
He entered the hall, standing aside to let me go first. The house smelled cold and musty from being empty. I took my suitcase from him and began dragging it down the hall.
“Clara.”
My heart fluttered. I stopped walking and looked back. He’d taken off his sunglasses and hung them on the deep V of his button up collar. Right where a few dark hairs appeared beneath the white fabric.
“Osian wants to see you,” he said.
The last person I wanted to see after last night was my future fiancé. I was in a mood and all it would take was one stupid comment for me to blow up.
“I’m going out clubbing with Candice,” I said.
Not waiting for his response, I tossed my hair and dragged my suitcase down the hall and slammed my bedroom door. I stood still, waiting to see if he’d come after me.
But no, his dress shoes clipped up the stairs to his room. Then he slammed his door and something hit the ground hard. Like he’d dropped his suitcase.
My stomach flipped. I’d never heard Merrick slam a door before.
The sound opened the floodgates again. I ran a hot bath and cried in the tub for a while. A few hours later, he revved the engine of the Audi outside and I listened as it disappeared down the drive.
How was I supposed to process this?
Merrick was supposed to be my safe place. My harbor, my protective force. But in a single moment, we had ruined four years of friendship.
Now we both knew that we wanted each other and nothing could ever be the same again.
Numb, I took a shower. Then I turned on music and did my makeup and hair. In the garage sat the brand new car he’d gotten me. Reminding me that no one had ever treated me better than fucking Merrick Llwyd and no one ever would.
Teeth gritted, I drove myself to Candice’s house and we went to the club.
She could tell I needed to just drink and dance instead of talking. So we both did a line of shots and went out onto the floor.
The music pulsed, pounding through my veins like a drum. Filling my ears, throbbing in my chest. At some point in the night, Yale appeared in the crowd and coaxed Candice into dancing with him. Or rather, dancing on him.
I was out, making my way to the other side of the floor. Preferring to be alone than watch them grind on each other.
I stayed in the middle of the dance floor, almost crushed by the sea of bodies. I was drunk on Cosmos, drunk on desire, drunk on rage. So I danced because I knew I was beautiful and desirable.
Sweat made my body glitter melt. My mascara smudged. A stranger danced with me for a brief moment, holding my hips between their palms. They took my hands and held them above my head, spinning me into the darkness.
Then they were gone, disappearing abruptly like they’d been scared off.
My scalp prickled and I glanced up to the balcony overhead. I swore I saw Merrick standing over me. Watching me twist and curve in my tiny pink dress.
Fuck him. He didn’t own me.
When I lifted my eyes again, he was still there. Definitely flesh and blood. Leaning on the railing, watching me with those burning cobalt eyes. All sexy and mysterious with his shirt open at the collar.
