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Sobs shook through me, rattling in my chest. He leaned forward and his big, strong arms wrapped around my waist. His head buried in my lap.
“When you cry like this, darling, it brings me to my knees,” he said, his voice fragile.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.
“Don’t apologize.” He brought my hands to his mouth and kissed my palms. “I have to go now.”
“Where are you going?” I asked, although I already knew the answer.
He straightened. “Osian will leave the country if I don’t go after him tonight. I won’t let him get away with what he did to you.”
“What…you’re just going to kill him?” I whispered.
“I’ll gather Caden and Yale and we’ll go and negotiate the terms,” he said. “But it’ll end the way it always ends for men who put their hands on our women.”
The silence between us was deafening. My throat went dry. He was so powerful, so deadly, but he hid it so well behind his unruffled exterior.
“You’re so calm,” I said. “I thought you would flip out, that you’d be furious.”
He blinked and lifted his eyes to mine. My stomach went cold as a shiver moved down my spine.
There it was, that rage I’d expected to see. Rising in him like a tsunami, ready to come crashing down at any moment. Destroying everything in his path.
All the warmth was gone and his eyes went from blue to black. In them, I saw the hell he was capable of unleashing.
I caught a glimpse of the man who had fought in the arena.
“It is not your responsibility to deal with my anger as well as your trauma,” he said. “You were hurt. It’s my job to make sure you’re safe. Then, I’ll indulge myself in his blood somewhere else where you never have to see it.”
Another shiver split down my spine. My throat felt like it was swelling, knotting up and choking me until tears started falling again.
“Wait, Merrick,” I whispered. “Please don’t destroy everything you’ve built.”
“Unleash me, Clara,” he whispered, eyes glittering. “Let me kill him.”
“You’ll do it without my blessing,” I breathed. “So why ask for it at all.”
He took my wrist in his hand and brought it up to his lips. Kissing it softly before wrapping my fingers around his throat.
“I want his blood,” he said. “But that debt must be paid of your behalf. Let me go into the night, let me be your monster, because that’s the man you love, the man you lie with every night. Taste me, cariad, I taste like retribution. I’m a king sitting on a throne of the bodies of murdered men. My soul is dead already…take it and use it to kill Osian Cardiff. You deserve his blood.”
I had nothing to say. What were my sputtering words after that speech?
“Unleash me,” he whispered, holding my hand tighter. Choking himself with my fingers.
“Merrick,” I managed, my tears streaming. “Do what you need to do.”
I pulled my hand away and he gave a little gasp, catching his breath.
“Just come back to me,” I begged.
He rose and paced across the room. He paused and ran a hand over his face. When he blinked up at me, some of the rage had been put away.
“You are my priority,” he said. “I’ll always come back to you.”
My body tingled, weightless, as I got to my feet and went to him. He pulled me against him and I wrapped my arms around his warm, naked torso and laid my head on his chest. I closed my eyes, listening to his steady heartbeat.
“Where were you?” I whispered.
