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“I almost lost you,” he said. “I won’t do it again. Your family would never agree to this. Trust me. They would rather die than risk you like that.”
“You made it back,” I said. “So it means it can be done. Fae blood can cure my family. She said that’s why yours helped my brother. Whatever they did to you, they changed part of your DNA. You have some kind of fae antibodies inside of you now.”
He turned his back to me and stood at the edge of the water. Strong. Immovable, like a mountain. It came to me then. If I could not bring the mountain to me…
“You said you loved me,” I whispered. “I’ve wanted that to be true.”
His shoulders dropped. His scars shimmered in the moonlight. Always changing. Even now. My heart thundered inside me. I tried to slow my breathing. He could sense the changes in my body. God. I wanted.
“Anson,” I said. “X…”
I reached for him, tracing my fingers over his back. Tracing the worst of his scars. There were those that changed and those that stayed the same.
“Anson,” I whispered. I slid my arms around him. Anson went rigid. I sensed a shift in him. He wanted to push me away. But as much as I craved him, he craved me. I’d held my own Rise back long enough. Now, it took my breath away. The full moon was coming. Along with it, the undeniable lust of my Heat.
“I need you,” I said. “Just this once. Just to…”
I hated myself for it. Hated myself for wanting him as much as I did. But there was something else pulling at me just below the surface. Deep. Strong. And yet I could not say the words even to myself.
“I will never touch you again unless you want it,” he said.
“You’ve never touched me at all unless I wanted it,” I said. “You’ve always been right about that.”
He turned to me, desire making his eyes bright as diamonds. Burning through me. Threatening to consume everything I was and remaking me into the thing I’d fought so hard against.
“Kiss me,” I said.
“If I kiss you,” he said. “I don’t want to stop there.”
A million little things flooded through me. He was the answer. His blood. His being. The lies he’d told me or the ones he’d kept to himself. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to use him in all the ways I’d felt he’d used me. I wanted to punish him. I wanted to hurt him.
I wanted…him.
I kissed him. Slow at first, even as zinging heat flooded my senses. My mind was a whirl of thoughts, emotions. My body was a single drumbeat.
Now. This. Here.
Would he ask me to say it? Admit it?
I was his. He could make me his. On my knees. Over and over again. His touch. His mark.
There was an answer in it. Again, I knew if I let it happen, there might be that one piece of himself that he couldn’t hide from me.
Weeks ago, Lissa had taken me into her circle. She had shown me her true face and what she was. I had used it to destroy her.
I could do the same thing again. If he let me in.
But then Anson would know my mind and heart completely as well. I wasn’t sure what scared me more.
I can’t. I can. I need.
I kissed him again. Punishing this time. Taking his lip between my teeth. He growled. I felt his fangs drop. He drew first blood.
“Say it,” he whispered.
I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. It was all too much, and yet it would never be enough.
“No,” I said.
