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"Avery brought it up. We don't have to talk about it." My words are rushed, tumbling out of my mouth in an effort for him to just stop.
I don't want to hear his explanations or excuses. My hand lands on the book and I stare at the cover instead of him. The man holds a woman, one hand around her throat as she throws her head back, ecstasy stamped in every line of her body. His face is harsh, commanding. But there’s something in his blue eyes, a softness around the edges and a promise within their depths meant only for her. How the artist was able to capture the sentiment in colors and lines is beyond me. No one has ever looked at me like that. I've never seen my future in someone's eyes. I don't know if I'd recognize it even if I did.
"Aelia, look at me," he whispers in my ear, and I meet his eyes. "I love you."
The world drops away and I'm in a free fall. Every doubt that's been running through my mind pierces through my heart. I shake my head slowly, not knowing how to respond. He straightens, hands landing on my hips, and I curl my fingers into fists.
"You may not believe me, but I do," he says gruffly.
"I know," I say, then clear my throat. "I know you think you do."
"I'm not expecting you to say it back. I can wait." He presses a kiss to my hair, then steps away.
I turn, leaning against the counter, keeping my gaze on my feet. "It's not that simple, Dante. I don't know how to love. Everything I've ever touched falls apart and tumbles away into nothingness. I'm broken. I can't give you what you need. I can't love you because I don't know how." I swallow hard, tears filling my eyes again. It's one of the truest things I've ever told him, certainly the most vulnerable.
And he chuckles. My heart clenches in my chest, the urge to lash out smothering the sharp pain. My hand swings toward him, my palm connecting with his face.
He jerks back, startled. I didn't hit him that hard, but his pink cheek shows exactly where I struck him. Covering my mouth, I hold my breath, waiting for his retaliation.
He rubs his fingers over the redness and stretches his jaw. "Solid hit. Maybe I should call you wildcat instead of angel. Next time, don't hold back."
My hands drop along with my mouth. "What?"
He grins, shaking his head. "I deserved that. But I wasn't laughing at you, which is what you thought, right?"
I nod, not trusting myself to say anything else. In fact, both of us should walk away. I just want this to end, to go back to dealing with the things that actually matter.
"Can you go now? I'm going to take a shower."
He steps toward me, pressing his body into mine. Butterflies erupt in my stomach, threatening to send me into a frenzy. Having him so close always makes me lose rational thought. And I know he's about to say something I won't be able to process. If he tells me he loves me again...I might throw up on him.
"Aelia,I love you for who you are right now. I love your imperfections, because it makes you perfect for me. Your brokenness calls to my own. Your broken pieces fit into my own—they make me whole. You'll change. You'll grow. And I'll love who you are then, too. I'll fall in love with each version of you over and over until you're ready to love me. I told you I'll wait, and I will. For as long as it takes."
I suck in a deep breath, staring into his intense eyes. There it is. That piece I thought was missing that I'd never find. My future plays out within his dark eyes. And it terrifies me.
Thirty-Three
Dante
I should be sleeping. The sun is still high in the sky, though the curtains block most of the light. Instead, I'm counting Aelia's breaths, watching her chest rise and fall with each one. The last three nights she's jolted upright, terror in her eyes. She never admits what her nightmares are about, but I'm pretty sure they feature Grant. Or maybe Jenkins. The horrors she's seen have probably plagued her for years. She didn't have them until Jenkins walked out of the office two weeks ago, though.
I sigh, sliding my palm along her arm, up and down. We're no closer to enacting our plan than I was when I first stepped foot in this building. I kept thinking I was making progress, setting shit up to topple them, but everything is in a holding pattern.
Delaying the Auction is my number one priority, which seems to be working, but it's getting harder the more time passes. Jenkins has been on my ass about giving more money, but the accounts Nemesis set up for me are dwindling. Contacting her would be terrible, mostly because I have no idea how to get ahold of her.
"Dante?" Aelia's sleepy voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
I brush my lips over her cheek. "Go back to sleep."
"Why are you awake? What happened?"
"Nothing," I whisper. "Everything is fine. Sleep."
Her droopy eyes meet mine, filled with confusion. I kiss her softly and she sighs. Tucking my arm around her waist, I pull her closer. She turns toward me, burrowing into my chest.
"What are you thinking about?" she mumbles, still half asleep, I'm sure.
"You," I breathe, burying my nose in her dark hair.
