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I knew from the many years I had seen him being a cop that he took witnesses very seriously. There had been times he went out of his way to ensure none testified when it was deemed too dangerous. He didn’t care about the case where most did. To Lucas, it wasn’t just about getting justice for a victim and their family, it was also about keeping the witness alive. If he felt it was too dangerous for them to testify, he struck their name and testimony from the record. His boss’ weren’t always happy about it, but they couldn’t ask an innocent person to put their life on the line.
“Two weeks before her identity was leaked or discovered she didn’t know. Threats were made against her, and she was placed in WitSec until she could testify; that took six months. She was told once she testified, and they were in prison that she could go back to her normal life. Things didn’t work out that way when both Diablo and Santiago put a hit out on her. Six months into WitSec, her protection agent was killed, and he told her to run, and she’s been doing it ever since. That was roughly five years ago now.”
I still couldn’t believe that she had been on the run for five years now. I couldn’t even imagine trying to figure out how to survive on the run for five months, let alone five years. She had to be terrified. I couldn’t imagine having to be constantly on edge, looking over my shoulder and waiting for the next attack. The toll it would take on a person and yet she was still fighting to keep living. She was still doing everything she could to survive. She was stronger than anyone I had ever met.
“This is bad. The longer someone is on the run the greater the risk of them being caught and killed.”
“I would have figured that was the other way around.” I had to imagine the longer you were on the run, the better at it you got. Mistakes would have been common in the beginning, but you learn from them, and you improve your skills.
“In the beginning you are constantly on edge doing everything you can to make sure you don't screw up. You practice your cover story a hundred times a day. You make sure to not take the same roads when you go to the same places. You shake up your routine and are always on alert. However, the longer you do that the harder it becomes to keep up with it. Slowly you loosen the reins. As your mind gets exhausted, you subconsciously make sacrifices to try and conserve energy. Those sacrifices lead to mistakes and mistakes can get you killed.”
I scrubbed a hand over my face as I now fully understood what Lucas meant. It made sense. There was only so long a person could go before they just became too exhausted. I had done the same thing, obviously not to the same level, but there had been plenty of times when I didn’t go to the gym, or I didn’t clean the house. Sometimes I don’t even read Zoey a bedtime story because I just couldn’t function long enough to at the end of the day. Those sacrifices though, they were nothing. My life wasn’t on the line if I took a day off. It wasn’t sustainable.
“What do I do? There has to be something that can be done so she is safe. So she can stop running.”
“I’ll look into the case and see. It’s possible both the hitman and Santiago are dead. They would have been feared in prison, but there also would have had rivals that could have wanted them dead. There is no telling how many people either of them had killed; any of their victim's loved ones could have wanted them dead.”
“And if they aren’t dead and there is still a threat against her?” I was terrified of what his answer would be, but I had to know. I had to be prepared for the worst-case scenario.
“It would depend on how viable the threat was. Given what happened with WitSec the last time she was in it, reporting back to them to get their help wouldn’t be wise. If there was a mole within their agency that mole could still be around and comprise her all over again.”
“Worse case?” I pressed.
“It’s not that simple. Sometimes the simplest thing is what keeps someone safe. Could she be relocated to a new state or even a new country? Yeah. However, she would be back to being on her own and pregnant to go with it. If there was an active threat against her, the safest place for her to be is in Rose Falls. It’s a small town that’s not even really on a map. No one would know she was there unless they saw her in a national press outlet. And even then, if she changes her hair or eye color and she has a real backstop to her name, no one will suspect anything.”
“She could really stay here?” That surprised me, because I would have assumed a larger town would be better for her to hide and blend into the crowd.
“She could as long as precautions are taken. It would be best if she avoided any type of press, even something as simple as local. If that is put on social media, she could be found. Most people would assume a larger town is best. However, larger towns mean a lot more people and the greater the risk of someone capturing your picture or knowing you. It’s easier to blend in within a smaller town, especially once the hype of a new person wears off. It’s possible that she could live in Rose Falls for the next sixty years and never get discovered. It’s also possible that the threat against her is gone, and she doesn't have to worry about someone coming after her. I won’t know until I look into it. I would recommend that she stays with you for now until we know.”
“Alright. I’ll talk to her tonight. I left her at the house in bed. She wasn’t feeling too great. Morning sickness seems to be winning. I’m gonna go by after lunch to check in on her.”
“After she told you all of these very personal details about herself and her past, did you reciprocate?”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I sat back in my chair.
“Did you tell her about your parents?” he asked gently.
“No,” I said in a tight voice, and I was hoping that meant he was going to drop this. I should have known better though.
“You can’t keep this from her. I know it’s difficult for you to talk about it, but she just told you a shitload of difficult details about her life. It’s only fair that you return that vulnerability. Especially because you are going to have a baby together. You need to know each other on a deeper level. You can’t have an imbalance of power between you two. She’s already at a disadvantage with having emotional baggage and not having any financial contribution. You need to even the playing field and make sure she knows that you can be vulnerable with her, and you want equal partnership between you both.”
I knew he wasn't wrong. I hated that he wasn’t wrong, because doing things my way would be easier. I had a problem with being vulnerable around people, especially women. My childhood and Elizabeth had screwed me up, and I had been prepared to live out the rest of my life not dealing with it. However, the addition of a new baby and everything going on with Maya, I was going to have to deal with it. I was going to have to man up, whether I liked it or not. Maya deserved to feel like she was safe on all levels with me and in our home. We were equals, and I was going to ensure she knew it.
Maya
Itwassometimelater when I sat up in bed. I felt better, not amazing, but it was better. I grabbed my pay as you go phone and checked to see if there were any messages. There weren’t any. I had been hoping that I would have heard from Holly. Holly had been a girl I had actually met that was also within WitSec. Much like me, her handler had long since been killed. She had been in the program for almost a dozen years, a decade when I had met her.
It was a complete coincidence that I had met her. I had been driving through Montana, and I came across this no named town. Literally, there was a gas station that tripled as the grocery store and liquor store. There was a single stop light with two stop signs. There was one church, a diner, a motel, and a bar. The bar was rough, but anyone passing through town always stopped in for a drink or something to eat. They did alright in terms of customers and the very few people that worked and lived in the town were able to make a living.
It always reminded me of a town where people go to disappear or die. It had been late when I was driving through. I was exhausted and just looking for a place to pull off somewhere to sleep. I had pulled into the very back of the bar parking lot and crawled into my backseat to crash for the night. I had been woken up a couple of hours later to a strange woman knocking on my back window. It hadn’t been the first time it had happened, and it was always so I could move my car. I expected as much, but this time around it was Holly.
She had invited me back to her place to crash on her couch. I normally would never agree to it, but there was something about her that made me feel like I could trust her on some level. It made no sense, and it had never happened before or after meeting Holly.
Despite all logic telling me I needed to run away, I agreed. I went back to her place, this studio apartment just above the gas station. Walking into her home, it felt familiar to me. There were no photos, no personal photos I should say. I could see some frames that held the photos they came with. I had done the same thing. It didn’t last long for me. I had wanted to try and make each new place I was staying in feel more like home. But like I said, it didn’t last long because after Tony was killed, I was living out of my car. The packed duffle bag tucked into the corner of the living room was also familiar to me. Always having to be prepared to run at a single moment’s notice.
I had asked her why she brought me back to her place, and she just looked at me as if she could see through me. She asked me how long it had been, and before I knew it we were sitting on her couch, and I was crying my eyes out. She had told me about what she had been through. She had been a human trafficking victim and she got out, testified against a fraction of the Russian Mob, but that put her into the program. Her handler had been killed as well, and instead of putting someone else at risk, she went into hiding on her own. I ended up crashing with her for three months, working at the bar with her and saving up everything that I could. She had said I could have stayed longer, but I didn’t want to put her at risk, and I knew she didn’t want to put me at risk either. Having two people in the program living together wasn’t really the smartest idea. We always made sure to update the other of our phone numbers and keep in touch.
I dialed her number and after three rings she answered, “Hello?”
