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I cut him off with a kiss. I press my lips to his and he swipes my lower lip with his tongue. I give in and part my lips for the briefest of moments. I feel alive and whole for the first time since I left here before the fight. But it only lasts a few seconds. “I’m letting go,” I whisper.
I move past him to the door. “Brittney, I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” he tells me as he watches me in the doorway.
“I know. But maybe we weren’t supposed to get a second chance. Maybe this was always going to be our ending. We can’t change the past and we can’t change who we are,” I say softly.
He stares at me with the same sadness I feel and says, “I won’t say goodbye.”
I try to give him a small smile. “You don’t have to. Goodbye, Hawk.”
My first week back home, I worked all available shifts at High Road to stay busy. Those first few hours back almost drowned me in my own tears. Once I was all cried out, my gaze stayed fixed on the four walls of my bedroom.
A calm but painful acceptance settled in slowly but surely. How could I grieve for something that wasn’t truly mine? Even if at my core it felt as though it were.
Briella and Dean shared the news with me about being pregnant. I’m so happy for them. Tate and Lucy are finally about to get married. Greendale Valley is due for some good news and happy events. But I’m left wondering if I’ve lost my chance at happiness. I know I’ve lost the urge to chase my dreams in music…at least for now.
Zander and Briella both tried to get me to tell them what happened, but I’m not ready to talk about it. I may never be. I’m not sure how to explain falling in love so quickly with someone who went from being my childhood best friend to being my enemy for so many years, and then letting him in anyway. Even Hart has checked in on me at High Road. Other than assuring them I’m fine, I’ve kept to myself. But I’m not sure I’m fine at all because I don’t know how to let go, even though those are the exact words I uttered to him as I tried to save what was left of my pride.
Briella reminded me nothing is impossible, but this is. I’m coming out of the kitchen with an order when I spot Wren. She waves at me before taking her seat at the bar. After I deposit the order on the table it belongs to, I slide back behind the counter and stop in front of her.
“Hey, Wren. Can I get you something?”
She reaches for my hand. “I came to see you. I want you to know I had no part in anything that led to you and Hawk not being together. My family is a bit much, and he’s fought them off until now.”
“Until me. Until I did something stupid like signing the contract without thinking and then he asked for their help to get me out. And instead of fighting for us, he rolled over and waved a white flag and gave in to them,” I say flatly.
“I didn’t mean it that way. He’s my brother and I love him, but he’s a fool if he doesn’t fight for you,” she says with conviction.
I huff out a laugh I certainly don’t feel. “Thanks, I think. But we both know that’s not how this goes down.”
“You could’ve stayed too,” she points out. Wren is blunt and always has been even as a kid. But I think that’s why I like her. She’s honest.
“You and I both know that’s not true. Your family thinks I went to see Matteo that night for other reasons than trying to help Hawk. And evenhedidn’t trust me,” I say, reminding her.
Her gaze shifts to her hands. “I wish I could fix this. He was different with you. I want that kind of happiness for him…for both of you.”
“I appreciate that, Wren.” I smile at her. She may seem crass and harsh if you don’t know her, but she has a big heart. Which reminds me of something she told me in Nashville while she was trying to get my mind off her brother. “Don’t you have a certain puppy to win over?” I ask.
“Yes, and I will,” she says as she stands. “You can distract me with puppies now, but I’ll be back. You won me over and now you’re stuck with me.” She winks at me before making her exit.
I laugh for the first time since I’ve been home after telling her bye.
A few hours later, it’s almost time for last call and the front door opens signaling a new customer. It’s not entirely unusual and we still have thirty minutes. My back is turned as I dry a whiskey tumbler and put it back on the shelf. It’s at this moment, I feel his presence.
“Dolcezza,can we talk?” his deep voice rumbles making my heart speed up. It seems like more than a week has passed since I left him in Nashville. I certainly wasn’t expecting to see or talk to him anytime soon…if ever again.
I slowly turn to face him, trying and failing to prepare myself. I’m not ready to do this so soon after realizing we’re over. He’s dressed in faded jeans, his boots, and a flannel shirt. He looks like he belongs here, but I have to remind myself he doesn’t. Not anymore.
“Hawk, you can’t be here. It’s not fair. I watched you walk away from me before and this time I walked away from you before you could leave me again. I won’t survive it a third time,” I tell him while shaking my head as a tear drops off of my chin. I have little to no defenses left regarding this beautiful man.
“You don’t have to,” he says gently.
I leave him there and tell Zander I’m done for the night. He tells me to be careful and to call if I need him as he stares at Hawk through wary eyes, obviously realizing why I’m ducking out a little early. When I grab my stuff from under the bar, I motion for him to follow me out front and he does.
“You’ll be happy to know Ethan and Rocco are bonding. Matteo and Leo are helping and bonding with their nephew too. Rocco told me to tell you he’s sorry and thank you,” he says as we walk toward my car.
“Why are you here, Hawk?” I ask as I stop and face him.
“For you,” he says as his phone starts buzzing. He glances at it and hits ignore.
