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“Are you so sure?” she asks as she rises from her seat.
This time I lock my gaze with hers. “Some things are worth fighting for, but trust me, anything between Hawk and me…it’s not,” I say with certainty.
Briella hugs me and whispers in my ear as she squeezes a little tighter, “Never say never.”
She pulls back and smiles at me before leaving, hopefully to find Dean.
I’m right, there’s nothing left to fight for between Hawk and me. Other people might be able to overcome all the broken promises and the ultimate betrayal of finding the boy you love with your sister of all people, but I’m not one of them. Between that heartbreak and living in a house where the only example of love we had was cheating, yelling, and lies…I’m sorry, but I can’t simply forgive and forget.
To this day, I don’t speak to Mandy. The day I saw her with Hawk was the day I lost my sister. And I’ve mourned her. I’ve mourned the loss the same as if she’d died. She begged me to forgive her, but her apologies weren’t ever sincere. She’d always get mad when I refused. She’d blame me. She saidIwas the reason she slept with my boyfriend. She admitted to having a crush on him and being jealous of my relationship with him. She said she was the older sister, and it should’ve been her. She was trying to save me from the heartache he’d cause later when he eventually left me for something better. Perhaps it’s why I can’t forgive her. If I thought she was truly remorseful, maybe I could find it in my heart to, although I still wouldn’t have a relationship with her.
Still, as I slide back behind the counter ready to serve customers for the rest of the night, Briella’s words echo in my mind…never say never.
Hawk glances at me and I almost see the remorse in his eyes. Has he changed? Is he sorry for breaking my heart? Maybe one day, we’ll have a talk. I guessnever say nevercan apply to that.
Tate smirks as he watches my preoccupied gaze flick to a certain blonde bartender for the millionth time during our meal. We’ve talked about the ranch and his and Lucy’s upcoming wedding. We’ve even talked about his dog, Rocky. But it’s clear he’d like to hear the truth about me and Brittney. Tate would keep it close to his chest, but I feel like I need to sort things out before I talk about it.
It was only a few hours ago Tate, Sterling, Dean, and I were in the stable. I was picking at them for being so whipped by their women. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but I’ve not ever been that way. Then they all zeroed in on me and got serious. They told me it was only a matter of time before I was in the same situation. They all laughed knowingly, but not me. I’m afraid it could be closer to the truth than I’d like to admit, even to myself.
“So, how’s your mom and your sister?” Tate asks, shifting the topic away from what he truly wants to ask.
My attention snaps back to him. “They’re good. We have dinner at least once a week. Mamma is as stunning as ever, and Wren has been working with the local shelter she helped to raise money for. She’s been focused on it for a while now. I’m hoping she stays that way. She doesn’t keep me worried so much when she has a project going. And this one seems to be keeping her happy and busy,” I tell him.
A prickle of guilt and unease ripples through me as I wonder what Tate, and everyone else for that matter, would say if they learned the truth about me and my family. They have no idea we have more money than we’ll ever know what to do with. They have no idea what I came from…or what I became to survive.
I glance back over at Brittney as she throws her head back with laughter at something one of her customers said. She doesn’t know the real me either, but she’s as close as they come. I used to be able to make her laugh that way. She used to trust me. She maybe even loved me. I didn’t ever understand how she could tell me she hated me all while looking like it killed her to say it.
But I was an asshole and didn’t try to find out. Especially after hearing what Mandy had to say. I was out of my mind searching for her after she ran off on me. She ran while my back was turned, so I didn’t see which way she went. I looked everywhere, saving her house for last because of the party Mandy was throwing in their parents’ absence.
I’m still not totally sure why I believed Mandy in the first place, but my own anger and sense of betrayal had been awakened when I walked to their front door to find her standing there, wrapped in nothing but a towel with the same guy she admitted to dating before and swore meant nothing to her.
I shake my head to bring myself back to the here and now. I vaguely hear Tate say, “That’s good. We sure need someone like Wren to believe in keeping the animal shelter running like it should.”
I focus back on him for a moment. “Yeah, that’s my sister. She’s a real animal lover.”
I lose sight of Brittney and crane my neck to see if I can find her. “You love her.” Tate says this so casually and I’m distracted enough I say, “Yes. Of course, I do.”
Tate chuckles as he crosses his arms over his broad chest. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”
My full attention is back on him now. “Wait, what?”
He shakes his head while grinning. “You love Brittney. You’ve been trying to keep your eyes on her in some capacity all night. No man gets so touchy about a woman unless they have feelings for her. You, my friend, already have it bad.”
Maybe he’s right. Maybe I should say it out loud. But I guess I already did. I flex my fingers on the table in front of me. “Listen, we have what you might call a turbulent past. She was incredibly important to me for a long time. But things happened…things were said.”
Tate waits expectantly for me to finish my story. I blow out a breath. “Neither of us tried to save what we had. We didn’t fight for it—for us. Then I left and she moved on. We’re not the same people we once were. She said she hated me. I thought I hated her too. But then…” I trail off.
“But then fate brought you back together. So, fight for her now. It’s not too late,” he says in all seriousness. He leans in closer and speaks quietly, “There’s a reason they say there’s a fine line between love and hate. Hate is love turned inside out. It sounds like you did that to each other from what you’re telling me, and I don’t even know details.”
I glance back at the counter where Brittney has returned from the kitchen and places a burger and fries in front of the man who made her laugh. She walks further down the counter, checking on other customers as she goes when her amber-colored gaze meets mine.
I think Tate may be right. The reason my feelings are so strong isn’t because of hate, it’s because I love her. Maybe I always have. A strange sensation fills my veins when she breaks eye contact. I press my fist into my chest as if to soothe an ache.
I glance back at Tate. “Okay, you’ve got me. Maybe I love her, but I’m not so sure I’m not years too late. And to be honest, mistakes have been made this go around too.”
He smirks. “There’s already been a ‘go around’ huh?”
I can’t help but grin at this man, who is at least five years younger than me, but seems to be so much wiser when it comes to love and romance. “That’s enough. You know what I mean. Our encounters haven’t been the nicest in nature,” I admit regretfully.
