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I reach between us and unbutton his jeans. “I know exactly what I’m doing. You’re the one who’s in for a surprise.” I close my eyes and pull his lips to mine. He hesitates briefly, and it’s enough to drive home how much he’ll hate me once this is done. My conscience nags at me that this is an extremely cruel way to prove a point and, in doing so, seeking a small amount of revenge. I quickly squash the doubts.
He leans into my kiss with a sense of urgency and reaches between us to pull my bra away from where he had it trapped. Then, he breaks the kiss so he can see my body. He gazes at my now naked breasts and feels one, testing its weight in his hand.
Then he reaches around to my backside and lifts me while my legs wrap around his waist naturally. He backs me up to the wall beside the couch and latches on to one of my nipples, swirling his tongue around the bud as my nails graze his hair and scalp. He shifts to the other one as I try to move against him.
“Where’s your bed?” he asks huskily.
I point with my right hand. “Through that door.”
He takes me to the bed and sets me down as he leans over to pull my thong off. He stands tall again to remove his shirt. I watch him as he finishes undressing and his hungry gaze devours every inch of my skin. I don’t remember ever feeling more vulnerable or so alive.
Before he drops his pants, he grabs something from his pocket. I quickly realize it’s a condom. He tears it open and rolls it down his length before positioning himself above me. He nips at my breast gently before doing the same up my neck and jawline and then delivers a bruising kiss to my lips. “I hate you for this,” he grinds out.
Then suddenly he thrusts inside without any further warning, breaking through all the barriers I had. It’s so hard and fast it steals my breath. He doesn’t notice as he captures my lips again. Tears sting my eyes as he thrusts in and out, taking everything I had left to give.
The pain is starting to let up, and I’m able to let my legs relax and fall open further for him. This is not how I pictured losing my virginity, but it’swhoI pictured. It’s also my fault. If he’d known this was my first time, even though he hates me, he wouldn’t be careless with the gift I’ve given him. Guilt tickles my conscience again, but I quickly shut it out.
“You’re mine now,dolcezza.Is that what you wanted?” His pupils are dilated as he slams into me, claiming me as his.
“Yes.” I dig my nails into his back prompting him to slide his hands under me and tilt my hips up a little so with each thrust, he’s hits my center in exactly the right place.
I feel myself start to unravel. Pleasure like I’ve never experienced builds and spreads from between my legs and through my entire body. I let out an involuntary moan as he quickly finds his own release and drops his forehead to mine. He stares at me for a moment, his eyes remain a blank slate…no hint as to what he’s thinking. He moves to get off me and I’m about to stand with him when he sees it.
“What the hell, Brittney?” he asks angrily, fury blazing in his eyes as his nostrils flare. “Please tell me you’re starting your period.”
I get up and turn to find the evidence on my sheets, proof I kept my promise from all those years ago. I face him again as he stands before me in all his naked glory and me in mine. “Not my period. I didn’t break my promise to you. I promised to giveyoumy virginity. The same way you promised me yours. Now you know. You got mine. The difference between us right now, you know without a doubt I never lied, and I know you did. A promise was broken, but not mine…it was yours.”
His face is flushed with anger. His cheeks are red, his jaw is clenched, and his brows are furrowed. “How could you let me do that and not tell me?” he demands. “I wouldn’t have taken you so hard, Brittney! I probably wouldn’t have taken you at all! What were you thinking?”
I step so close I have to turn my face up to meet his angry glare. “I was thinking I had a point to prove. It was time you learned the truth. I didn’t break my promise back then. I was thinking that no matter what you did to hurt me, I still wanted it to be you. And I needed another reason to hate you. So, congratulations. Mission accomplished. I’m going to shower this memory away now. You can go. Lock my door on your way out,” I tell him as I leave him standing there in maddening shock.
I slam my bathroom door and turn on the shower before I meet my own gaze in the mirror.What did I just do?
I step under the hot spray and make another promise. I promise myself I won’t ever cry over Hawk Abbott again…not after tonight anyway. It sounds good in the moment, and I keep my promises. It’s something I take seriously. But I wonder how long I can keep this one.
A month and a week later…
Brittney won’t talk to me. She won’t even spare me a quick glance. She waved at Dean during Sterling and Ivie’s wedding a few weeks ago, but when she noticed me peer in her direction, she quickly turned away. Dean noticed and asked if there was more to our story. In my head I answered with a“you’re damn straight there is.”But out loud I told him to drop it. I questioned him about the way he was staring at Briella that night when one of his best friends was dating her.
I shake my head as I sit in my recliner. Greendale Valley has been thrust into the depths of hell since then. Briella’s boyfriend, Drew, was killed in a fire set by an arsonist and she’s slipped into a depression of sorts—understandably so—while Dean is still fighting to recover from his own injuries sustained in the same fire.
It would seem Brittney has temporarily abandoned chasing her music career and has taken to being Briella’s rock alongside Sterling, Tate, and the rest of their family. It’s taking its toll on everyone. It’s left no one unaffected in this community.
I can’t help but be glad Matteo seems to have forgotten Brittney too. Maybe she told him she wasn’t interested. I can only hope she did. He’ll bring trouble to her, and he can only do it if she allows him to. She’s smarter than that. She must be. Surely, she wouldn’t get into business with him simply to spite me.
I lean back in my chair and listen to nothing but the thoughts and memories playing in my head. I close my eyes and remember her promise. Not long after we found each other again, it was clear we had feelings for one another. We fought them at first, afraid we’d ruin our friendship and lose each other for good. But it was so easy with her…as simple as breathing. We never made any declarations of love, but it’s where we were headed. I won’t ever forget us promising everything to one another.
Then…
“That tickles, Hawk.” Brittney giggles as I run my thumb over the arch of her bare foot. Her eyes crinkle at the corners as she laughs. Her laugh is home to me. Everything about Brittney has always felt like home.
“I’m sorry, dolcezza. I was only trying to rub your foot. I didn’t mean to tickle you.” I smile as she nudges my arm. We’re lying across my bed watching TV. Mamma is out with Wren. It’s become increasingly difficult to keep my hands, and thoughts, to myself. For a couple months now, we’ve hung out like no time has passed and nothing has changed…but it has.
We’re watching reruns of old shows as I work up the nerve to let her know I like her…that I really like her, and I might even be falling for her.
She shifts from lying on her stomach to sitting at the head of the bed with me. I put my arm around her and tuck her into me as she rests her head on my shoulder. She fits against me perfectly as I inhale the light floral scent of her hair and close my eyes.
I feel her small hand on my chest. “Why is your heart beating so fast, Hawk? Are you okay?” she asks as she sits up to gaze at me, her brows knit in concern.
