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“Your trend report! How did it go over?”
The trend report. I get excited at the thought of it, visions of snowcapped mountains and Ranger running at full force to rescue a skier whose descent went amuck. A team of four humans, four dogs. There’s space to sustain it in the model I’m proposing, but I have to get the details together.
I’m not sure it was appropriate for me to use work time for this extra activity, but if it’s ultimately going to be both profitable and a boost to the brand for the Dog’s Paw, I can’t see Miss Chardonnay objecting.
I try to summarize all that for Alli in a way that doesn’t sound too accountant-geeky.
“Ter-Ter. This is what you’ve always wished for. I don’t know why you didn’t set up your own business like we talked about when you were doing your degree, but here’s another chance for you to lead the way into something new.”
She just pulled the rug out from under me again.
“Lead? No, not me.”
She makes a face. “What do you mean, not you? It’s your idea.”
“No, no, no,” I mutter with my eyes set on my drink. “I’ll propose it, and then we’ll see. These things require careful steps, and I don’t want to be seen as self-serving. Maybe I can be on the team one day, after I’ve proven myself as an accountant.”
She looks to one side, then to the other, and then back to me. “How on earth do you figure that?”
This is the thing about Alli. When she has an idea, she does it. She doesn’t think about where it might take her, or worse, what the consequences might be.
“I’m still finding my feet at the Dog’s Paw. It’s important to me not to misstep because the job is already amazing. Ranger has the best time playing with the other canine residents on the grounds, and my stress is lower than when I interned in any of those accounting firms. This isn’t the time to mess things up by crossing a line.”
“What line? Who put a line down for you?”
“It’s invisible. An analogy.” This is exactly the thing that gets Alli worked up. I brace myself.
“Forget invisible lines! Did it ever occur to you that maybe you’re the one who drew it there in the first place?”
Alli never understands why I hold back in situations like this. And maybe that’s for the better. I’ve never been able to lead a life like hers, going with the wind.
And I don’t want to change her.
“I’ll tell you what,” I say. “I’m going to put together a proposal, and I’ll even mention my availability to support the project in whatever way Miss Chardonnay deems fit. That’s already a lot. Miss Chardonnay has her ideas, you know. She’s French. Cultural differences and whatnot.”
“But if you’re the right guy for the job, then you’re the right guy. And Terence, you’re the right guy.”
“But I’ve always been the right guy for you.”
She blinks at me.
I blink back.
When I said it, I was thinking of the job. But after the words left my lips, they were the words I meant. The words that have been humming in the back of my mind.
I have to rewind, fix this. Say something to make this awkward silence go away. Why is she looking at me like that? Alli’s always the star at defusing uncomfortable moments. With her hands clasped in front of her like that and her lips parted, I have no idea what she might say next.
What’s happening to us?
She blinks quickly, as if waking up. “Dessert?”
“Huh?”
“I love melted chocolate stuff, but you already know I love it because I stuff that stuff like a pro, am I right?” She laughs, but it’s a forced giggle. “How many times can I stuff the word ‘stuff’ in a sentence? That’s the challenge of the night, am I right? Am I?”
She’s waiting for me to throw her a lifesaver. I go for it because that’s what friends are for.
“You’re very right. And that chocolate cake is ridiculously good. What do they put in it?”
