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Alli - Sunday
If anyone had told me last week I’d be careening my way to certain disaster with eight wheels stuck to the bottom of my feet on a Sunday afternoon, I would have told them they were barking up the wrong tree.
But last week was before I discovered roller derby. This week, I’m a new woman!
“Look out!” Wave arms madly! Warn the unsuspecting couple!
Phew.
They split and let me rush on past, the wind whistling in my ears… or is that them shouting expletives back at me? I didn’t mean to scare them. Can’t they see I’m well on my way to discovering my new calling?
Alli Baker, world-renowned roller derby-er. Roller derby-ite? Roller derby player, I guess that’s the official term.
A small crowd is blocking the sidewalk ahead. This demands immediate action.
“Move aside, folks! I’m still working on balance!” I hear the group of teenagers snigger, but at least none of them stick out a foot to throw me off balance. Most people in Hampton Falls wouldn’t, but there’s always one.
And his name was Terence Green.
Uh oh. Unsuspecting old woman with walker ahead. I do my best to slow down. “Excuse me, ma’am.”
“Well, I never–”
“I really am sorry!”
She laughs. “No, I was about to say that I never saw roller skates in Hampton Falls in my whole life! Haven’t you seen the state of the sidewalks? Be careful!”
“Thanks, ma’am!” I shout over my shoulder as I’m already way beyond the spot where I could have taken her out like a bowling pin.
But she makes a good point. I should take the road.
Hampton Falls is a city that isn’t ready to accept that it’s grown to be a city. It has that small-town feel to it, the same one it’s had ever since I was a kid. I grew up on Granger Street, went to school on Melrose Avenue, got my first apartment on Main Street (to my mother’s horror), and am presently zigzagging down the middle of James Crescent, where I’m confident that no cars will run me over. However, it’s a long descent, and I’m gaining speed heading downhill.
The feeling of the wind rushing through my helmet is refreshing, and I have newfound confidence since I started wearing knee and wrist guards. So far, safe. No cars in sight…
Cars, no. But Terence Green?
“Alli! Stop!” Terence waves his arms like a madman as he rushes in my direction.
“Terence! Move!”
Can’t he tell that my braking skills are far from fine-tuned?
“You’re going to go through my garage door! Roll onto the grass!”
He jumps on the spot of grass in his front yard like an airport landing signal guy, so I head in his direction.
“Don’t mess up my violets! This way!” He points to his right, indicating the part of the garden I should aim for.
There’s one problem with this scenario, and I’m sure it has something to do with physics. Maybe if I’d paid better attention to Mr. Ogerton in tenth-grade science, I wouldn’t be in my present predicament…
That’s all I have time to think as my wheels hit the grass and immediately come to a full stop, while the rest of my body defies gravity and takes flight.
Terence adjusts his position, presumably to catch me, but even his six-foot-three Nordic godlike self can’t stop me now.
My face lands in his stomach and throws him into the air. If time were a little slower, this would be a fascinating feat—well-guarded woman knocks superman look-alike into the stratosphere.
And then we land in a heap with a big “oof” on his beautifully manicured lawn.
