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‘I can’t risk making him sicker. How about you sit back there and shut up?’ Jade snaps back.
I can’t help but laugh at how these girls fight like Hollyn and I do. Those are the best relationships. It’s sibling love at its finest.
* * *
Things have progressed by the time she gets me to my apartment. We had to stop twice so that the burger could exit, and each time, as I kneeled on the side of the freeway, hoping no one plowed into us, I regretted that burger a little more.
As I get out of my car, I glance into my building. There’s no way I’m making it to the third floor easily. This much I know. When we reach the callbox outside the front doors, I jab Dylan’s apartment number and lean against the wall.
‘What are we doing?’ Jade asks. ‘Which floor do you live on?’ she asks, looking up at the building. ‘I feel like we need a plan.’
‘I thought the plan was to drop him off so he could die peacefully, and we Uber home? Or did I make that up on the way here?’
‘Your sister is terrifying,’ I say to Jade, who agrees with a nod.
‘Yeah?’ Dylan’s voice echoes through the dark street.
‘Dyl,’ I groan. ‘I’m dying and need your help.’
‘Shut up,’ the man says through the intercom.
Right then, I bolt for the trash cans a few feet from me. Thank God this burger was free because I’m paying for it now.
‘Hi there,’ Jade says behind me, into the callbox. ‘River’s seriously sick; he chose to eat a burger that promises misery, and it’s pulled through. My sister and I are here with him, but I’m unsure if we can get him to his apartment. Could you help? Please?’
A beat of silence says this isn’t a great time, but eventually, a voice echoes through the empty city street. ‘Give me a sec.’
Jade doesn’t come near me; instead, her sister speaks loudly from where she is. ‘Your boyfriend is on his way down.’
‘Ha-ha.’ I don’t laugh. ‘He’s as much my boyfriend as you are my girlfriend.’
The front doors of the building burst open, and Dylan, dressed in a two-piece matching pajama set from the 1940s, walks my way. ‘Virus or booze flu?’ he asks, sliding his arm around my waist and pulling my arm over his shoulders.
‘I defeated the coronary burger,’ I tell him.
He laughs. ‘Or did the coronary burger defeat you?’
‘Shhh. I’m going with victory as I’m trying to look good in front of the ladies,’ I whisper.
‘You’ve got puke on your shirt, so think what you want, but you’re way past that dream,’ Dyl says, amusement in his voice. ‘I got it from here, girls.’
‘What?’ Jade asks. ‘I can’t leave him. Not like this.’
‘Yes, you can,’ Laney says. ‘We have plans.’
‘Plans? It’s like midnight.’
‘And we’re doing a cleanse at 3.33a.m.’
‘When did you plan to tell me this?’
‘I’m telling you now.’
‘Well, cancel it, because, as I told you after our last “cleanse”, I’m never doing that coffee enema thing again.’
I raise my eyebrows. This conversation is getting weirder by the minute.
‘It’s not an enema. It’s a spiritual cleanse to rid our souls of boys of the past and call in Mr Right.’
