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I sigh. I feel no better talking to Conner tonight, so what’s the point of continuing? We’ll fight, and we can’t fight the first day he’s gone. That has to be a bad omen of things to come.
‘I gotta go,’ I say. ‘Call me tomorrow morning?’
‘Yep. Talk later,’ Conner says.
‘Love y—’ As the words leave my lips, I realize he’s already hung up. Nice. It’s been one day, and this is already going disastrously.
‘Was that your boy toy?’ Kai teases. ‘Is he all settled in and studying his nights away?’
‘Yeah,’ I say, leaving the walk-in fridge and closing the door behind me. ‘He’s up to his ears in medical terms.’ Yes, I’m lying to my best friend. But only because everyone I know warned me about this, and I’m not ready to say they’re right. It’s been one day, and he’s excited to be back. I’m sure he’ll settle down the longer he’s there.
6
JADE
On the walk to my car after work, I called Conner three times. No answer. If it’s three in the morning here, it’s six there. He should be home and perhaps asleep but ultimately available to answer for his fiancée – but nothing. Three phone calls are my limit, as I’m not about to beg someone to talk to me. Disappointment floods through me like a tidal wave.
Suddenly my phone buzzes in my hand, and I rush to answer, only to realize it’s a text – from Conner. Finally! I tap the notification box and stare at his message. Thumbs up. Clock. Zzz smiley. Purple heart.
Emojis? Are you fucking kidding me? He won’t answer, but he’ll send emojis? What are we, twelve? I frustratedly shove my phone into the pocket of my fur coat. Is this how he’ll act when we get married?
Don’t overthink it, Jade. Maybe he’s just tired? Or… what if he’s not the guy you thought he was? No. He couldn’t fake it for two months and he definitely wouldn’t have proposed if he wasn’t truly interested. Would he?
As I reach Riverfront Park, I decide to drown my worries in the rain. Because of the weather, few people are hanging about other than several homeless folks sleeping under trees, but I’m keeping my distance. I walk this path nightly, and never has anyone even so much as spoken to me. Could it be because I announce I’m armed (with mace) if anyone gets close? Possibly, but it works.
I glance up at the dark sky, raindrops hitting my face softly. The moon shines behind the clouds in clear spots, and although it’s the middle of the night, it’s lovely out here, rain and all. It’s not like a monsoon or anything, just a steady drizzle, so I lie down on the ground, wholly bundled up tight, so only my face and fingers are hit by raindrops as they fall. This same sky used to hold the answers to help me clear my head, so why not try now when most of the city peacefully sleeps in their beds and cannot witness me crying in the middle of a public park?
When Laney and I were kids, we’d sit at the computer or in front of the TV for hours. Eventually, Mom would kick us out of the house and force us to play outside ‘like she did when she was a kid’. Laney would take off across the street to her best friend’s house, and I’d wander around the property for a bit, looking for anything to do. But every single time, rain, shine, or snow, I’d end up lying in the middle of our backyard, staring at the sky.
I don’t know what Conner is thinking. Do I text him back? And if so, what the hell do I say? Words or emojis? Ugh. If I replied now, while I’m mad about it, those emojis would undoubtedly make this situation way worse. Why are relationships so complicated? You go into them thinking it’s all bliss and rainbows, then the tiniest pebble in the path trips you up, and you fall right off the cliff. Will you break something? Might you die? Who knows – you only find out after you’ve taken the risk.
‘Hey. You alive?’ Someone kicks my foot.
Please don’t let it be someone with ill intentions. I’m afraid to look, so I spew my usual threat instead.
‘At the present moment, yes, I’m alive. But be warned, I’ve got no money. I have mace and am not afraid to use it. If you’re here to rob me, you should know that my purse has old receipts, hair ties, tampons, and ChapStick – no cash. So, if you could just go away and leave me be, I’m trying to drown; thank you very much.’
The male voice chuckles. ‘You’re trying to drown by way of raindrop? Why take an entire season when the river is right there?’
How dare he! I snap my eyes open at this stranger suggesting I jump into the river. He’s smiling wide, his shoulder-length blond hair pulled into his usual bun at the back of his head, headphone wires hanging from his ears. River. This is the first time I’ve ever encountered him outside the bar.
Propping myself up on my elbows, I glance at my Apple watch. ‘It’s three thirty in the morning. Why are you stalking the city at such hours?’
He yanks the headphones from his ears. ‘I got a bat signal earlier so I was out fighting crime.’
I laugh.
‘If I can’t sleep, I run,’ he says honestly.
‘You couldn’t sleep?’
River nods, his hands on his hips as he talks through a heavy breath. ‘I’ve got one of those minds that sometimes don’t stop. Running tires it out. I was just headed home when I saw what I momentarily thought was a body wrapped in a fur rug and that I’d stumbled onto a crime scene.’
‘You thought I was a body that someone dumped yards from the river?’
He lifts his shoulders. ‘This isn’t exactly the safest place to be at this hour. Did you fall?’
‘No,’ I answer, lying back down.
