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He pinched my clit. “According to Payton and Sariah, Brynn knows how to use her mouth. The girls are straight, but they were first in line to mess around with Brynn.” My eyes widened as he inserted a finger into me. “Tell me what you want to try, River.”
I arched against his touch, turned on way more than I wanted to admit. “I want to kiss her, feel her mouth on my tits while she strokes my clit.” A small gasp escaped me when Holden moved his finger from my pussy to my puckered hole. He pushed against it, easing inside. I squirmed beneath his touch.
“Can I watch as she licks and sucks you?”
I nodded, breathless. “I want to suck your dick while she’s tasting me.” I moaned. The thought of the threesome made my body burn with an animalistic desire.
“I need to watch first. If you’re on your hands and knees and she’s under you, you can sit above her face. I can see her tongue as she fucks you.”
“Oh, God!” I gasped, grinding against him.
“Let me show you. Roll over, babe.”
Without hesitation, I rolled onto all fours, then Holden slid beneath me and lowered my core over his mouth. I watched him as he dug his fingers into my thighs, pain and ecstasy pumping through me. He shoved a finger into my ass, and I buried my face into a pillow, muffling my cry of pleasure as I rocked against him.
Desire licked every inch of my sensitive skin. My muscles tightened. Seconds later, I released, clawing at the bed with the most intense orgasm I’d ever experienced. I whimpered as his mouth left me. Holden took care of a condom before he rolled me onto my back, then slid his cock into me. Thank God my birth control pill would kick in the next day.
I wrapped my legs around him. “Fuck me hard, baby.”
Holden grabbed my wrists and pinned them over my head. He thrust into me so hard, the headboard bounced and knocked against the wall.
“That’s it, baby.”
He released me, lifted my leg, and pushed it, my knee hitting my chest. Holden placed a palm on the mattress and shifted, his new angle sending me into a frenzy.
I scraped my nails along his sweat-slickened skin while he pumped me harder, my breath ragged and my body greedy.
He let out a harsh growl, gripped the back of my thigh, and began plowing into me. “Fuck,” he said, then his mouth parted. The entire bed shook as he slammed into me one last time, then he tensed and jerked as he released. Before I realized it, he pulled out and slid down the mattress until his mouth was on my clit. He fucked my ass with his finger, his tongue lapping at my bundle of nerves. Stars danced behind my eyelids as I exploded again.
Panting from the workout, I went limp as my arms flopped to my sides. “What the hell did you just do to me?”
Holden chuckled, then made his way up the bed. “It’s called a fantasy, babe. You don’t ever have to act on anything, but it can be fun as hell to pretend.” He kissed the tip of my nose, grinning. “I know you love Brynn, and sometimes our emotions are a little confused. From what you’ve told me, you weren’t close to anyone other than Addison. Now you’re exploring your sexuality. You’re attracted to a lot of people and things, but it doesn’t mean you want to sleep with Brynn. Relax and enjoy it.”
“I love her, Holden. If her last wish is me, I would give it to her. Not because I like girls, but because I love her.” I massaged my forehead. “I’m not sure that’s making sense.”
“It makes a lot of sense. One thing I’ve learned from owning 4 Play … so many people deny themselves their fantasies because they’re afraid they’ll be shamed. River, there should never be shame in learning who you are. Straight, gay, bi … Our bodies are made for pleasure. People are attracted to who they’re attracted to. I just wish everyone’s fear and judgement would take a backseat to love and happiness.”
Although I heard what Holden was saying, I wasn’t taught the same way. After being raped over and over again by Dan, I hadn’t ever allowed sex to be positive, loving, and fun. I’d rejected my body for being too curvy … too seductive, even though I tried to wear baggy clothes and not attract attention … until Holden.
“I think we’ll sleep well after that workout.” He turned to me, his expression growing serious. “Honestly, I think I’m afraid to close my eyes.”
My brows knitted together. “Why?”
“I’m terrified I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone.”
That made way too much sense to me, and I wasn’t sure how we would heal except to fall asleep and wake up next to each other every morning.
“Just hold me, then.” I rolled over and flung my leg over his while I nestled against him, listening to the rise and fall of his chest.
“We should shower and grab something to eat. Brynn’s not the only one that’s lost weight.” He patted my back, implying that I’d also dropped a few pounds. He kissed the top of my head, then we laid still—neither of us in a hurry to pry ourselves apart.
***
Once we showered, we joined everyone else in the living room. Brynn was stretched out on the couch, curled up next to Jace, softly snoring. Chance and Reid were watching a basketball game, and Chance was teaching Reid the rules. I wondered what this big world looked like to him.
Before Holden ordered Chinese from a restaurant that delivered, he poked his head into the hall and took Vaughn and Zayne’s order as well.
I glanced at Chance as he studied Brynn, and internally, I struggled. There was no mistaking that she held his heart. Unfortunately, she had no plans to settle down any time soon. I understood where she was coming from because I’d promised myself if I made it out of the compound, I’d embrace life and live. Never again would I take a day of freedom for granted.
