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Once we’d changed into plush hotel robes, we entered our room. Waxing was first, massage, then our manicures and pedicures. I spotted two tables and waited for Brynn to pick one. She was a pro at this. I hadn’t ever waxed any part of my body, much less my lady bits.
“Hi ladies,” a cute blonde said, entering. “I’m going to take care of you today, then we’ll have the masseuses come in next. Go ahead and get comfy.” She flashed us a warm smile.
“Thank you for seeing us on short notice. We desperately need to be pampered,” Brynn said. She dropped her robe and hopped up on the table. I hated and loved Brynn for her body confidence. Even though I tried to look the other way, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. The only other time I’d seen Brynn naked was in the Master’s Playroom, which had been dark.
Even sick, she was stunning—thin, curves in all the right places, perky breasts, and a great ass. One of her best assets was her long legs. What I wasn’t prepared for was seeing her ribs. It was just a nasty reminder of her cancer. What if this is the last time I have a spa day with her? A shiver traveled down my spine. Fuck that. I swatted the dark thought away like it was a pesky fly on a summer day. I was bound and determined to make sure this was a good experience for her. Plus, we were in a public establishment. This wasn’t the compound. I could pace the room, leave, come back, and do anything I wanted. I was free, and so was Brynn. We had an entire week together before she had to return to the hospital. Opal, Kassandra, Barrett, and Tim could choke and die. This was my life. Game on, motherfuckers! I refuse to let you ruin me.
I climbed up on the table but left my robe on. I would ditch it when I had to. Brynn yelped as her wax job began. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure this was such a good idea. The thought of Holden touching me last night put things into perspective, though. I hadn’t shaved since before I’d been kidnapped. I wanted to feel sexy and also have this done for him.
Forty minutes later, I was hair-free, and my skin stung like a son of a bitch.
“How are you doing over there?” Brynn asked. If we stretched out our arms, we could probably touch.
“I think having the massage after my pubes being ripped off was a good call.” I rubbed my temples and giggled. “Fuck, that hurt.”
“It gets better, I swear. Besides, you’ll love not having to shave.” She winked at me.
A few minutes later, two women joined us for the massages. Brynn was right. I did feel better with her next to me. I was also more comfortable with a female touching me than a strange man. It took a bit, but I finally relaxed as the tension left my muscles. Brynn had closed her eyes, but mine were on her the entire time. If I could see her, it helped tame my fear, and I knew I was safe. Maybe the trick was being able to look at someone. I wondered if it would help with Holden. I was willing to try anything to move forward with him.
The rest of the afternoon was filled with mimosas and giggles. The alcohol relaxed me, and I watched Brynn while she soaked her feet. The pedicure stations offered vibrating and warming chairs, and I wondered if I could talk Holden into buying one when we figured out a place to live. Realizing this was a perfect time to pick Brynn’s brain, I took another sip of my second drink, then rested the glass on my thigh.
“Brynn?”
She turned her head, looking at me. “Yeah?”
“Something happened, and I wanted to see if maybe …”
A wide grin split her face. “You have the hots for Reid, don’t you?”
I balked at her, nearly spilling my mimosa all over my lap. “No! I love Holden. He’s the only guy I want to be with.”
Brynn covered her mouth with her hand, hiding her smile. “Sorry, babe. The way you and Reid looked at each other …” She released a soft laugh. “River, it’s okay to be attracted to someone even when you’re in love with another guy. And good God. Cut yourself some slack. When you look at Reid, you see Holden. He is the spitting image of your boyfriend, only a bit shorter. Otherwise, I don’t think we would be having this conversation.”
“We aren’t having this conversation, you are.” I poked my bottom lip out, pouting.
“He’s fucking hot as hell, but you know that already. Seriously, babe, think about it. You two went through a trauma that none of us will fully understand. Reid does, though. It sounds like he lived through it for years.” Sadness flickered across Brynn’s features. “You two are connected on a deeper—different level. You’re attracted to who he is as a man—caring, compassionate, and not afraid to show it.” She placed her palm on her chest. “I love him for being there for you. I honestly don’t think you’re attracted to him the way you think you are. It’s only because your hot as hell boyfriend basically has a fucking twin. Not to mention the two of you lived through something horrible together.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “They’re not twins.” I folded my arms over my chest, hating that Brynn could read me so well. “How did you know that it was screwing with me?”
“Because it would mess with me, too. We’re human, and sometimes there’s an attraction outside of a relationship. You won’t ever act on it. Reid is a completely different story …”
I whipped my head around, staring a hole into my best friend. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That Holden has competition. Reid is in love with you, babe. The way he looks at you when your boyfriend isn’t around, and the wistful expression when Holden is with you.”
My nostrils flared, and I released an unattractive snort. “No. He’s not. We just went through hell together, that’s all.”
“So you’ll be all right if I ever ask him to play?” She wiggled her brows at me.
“That’s not my decision. If he wants to be with you, fine. He’s probably hella good in bed after …” What was I saying? How could I be so insensitive?
“I think you need a threesome, River. Explore what it’s like with Holden and Reid. If Holden isn’t on board with uneven numbers, I’ll be happy to join.” She fluttered her eyelashes at me.
I searched her face for any sign that she was kidding, but I didn’t see any.
“River, I’m not saying this to scare or guilt trip you, but I died. I flatlined. The doctors saved me, and now I don’t want to waste time. I want to live, fuck anyone I want, travel, and anything else we can think of. If I don’t beat this, at least I’ll know that I lived life and I was happy.”
This was the first moment I saw the doubt in Brynn. The fear that she wouldn’t make it. I gritted my teeth together and gripped the arm of the chair so hard it shot pain through my hand. “You will fucking beat this. Don’t ever say that again.”
